I've been self-hosting XMPP for slightly more than 10 years now. I started out of necessity with 2/3 family members, so I would have reliable messaging while travelling on a tight bandwidth, and/or to places that would censor the usual alternatives. This turned into 20+ family members over time. Old friends, then colleagues, joined in about similar proportions. I'm experienced enough to never have "pitched it" or tried to "sell it" to them. I only tell them that this is what I use, and that, unlike the other commercial things they may be familiar with, it will keep working for as long as I'm alive to pay the hosting bills. That generally gets them curious-enough to try. About colleagues, some eventually start using it among themselves because it's a more "relaxed" experience than using Teams on their phone. I won't change the world that way (nor do I intend to), I just think that there is room for more than just one monopolistic and slowly-enshittifying network, and plenty for XMPP.