But from the Earth’s reference frame wasn’t the Pluto activity I mentioned earlier simultaneous with what happened 5 hours ago on Earth?
So couldn’t you say from Earth’s reference frame this black hole’s activity happened simultaneously with events 20 million years ago?
I think the difference in the scenario you proposed is that we can conceive of a practical situation in which someone on Pluto sends a message and waits for a reply. We can then say that they are going to have to wait at least 10 hours to receive a reply. This has meaning.
But when the distances become too great the urge is to resist believing that things have an existence beyond the interactions of particles. There is no practical reality to that object beyond our ability to observe it when the light reaches us.
It's obviously fair to say they happened at the same time in this scenario.