As a modern but somewhat traditional straight dude my initial reaction is that the most solvable aspect of this jealousy - and frankly the most stereotypically female - is the concern over judgement from others. The father’s I know couldn’t care less that the other moms in their kid’s class were chattering about the fact that mom’s car broke down on the way to soccer practice, while mom is traumatized by embarrassment. They just want to make sure everyone is home safe and the car is fixed soon.
The reason I’m sharing this is because it sounds like have a foot in both camps in terms of anticipated anxiety. And thankfully handling a fear of judgement and actual judgement are issues that can be addressed.
I’m rambling, I hope you find the right partner regardless and I appreciate the response.