Every model I ask tells me my idea is great. Every founder I know is six months from changing the world and has been for four years. So I built the opposite: paste a GitHub profile, a URL, or a pitch, and an AI reads the actual thing and writes the obituary it earned. A name for the dead thing, a two-sentence eulogy that quotes your real repos and real claims back at you, a cause of death, and what it is survived by. It renders as a newspaper tombstone card you can share.

I ran it on my own GitHub first. It buried my main repo for having two stars and a CI badge nobody watches but me. It was right: https://theyfell.com/obituary/bitrep-1788357179733_e0cda1

The point is not the burn. It is looking at your own work through a lens that is not impressed by you, once, and laughing, and then getting one thing to do about it. This is an experiment in whether that helps more than encouragement does. I would like to know.

Rules it plays by: it buries the work and the choices, never the person. Nothing about appearance or anything someone did not choose. Addresses, emails and phone numbers are stripped before anything is read or stored, and ID numbers are refused outright.

It is free. There is a $3.99 autopsy that goes deeper and ends with one concrete thing that could have saved it, because a burn alone is worth nothing and I wanted the paid part to be genuinely useful.

Stack: Firebase functions, Claude for the writing, resvg for the cards. One person, sole proprietorship, Ottawa Valley.

Here is what it did to Linus Torvalds' GitHub: https://theyfell.com/obituary/the-guy-who-peaked-in-1991-178...

And to a career that keeps picking the wrong startup: https://theyfell.com/obituary/the-pivot-magnet-1788356067673...