Really, it isn't the make believe land you imagine.
Sorry we don’t hire plagiarists here
What do you mean?
your post is an author's words, not your own, though I suspect GP was being snarky, unclear if this is fair use :]
regardless, asking to be hired is against HN's posting guidelines, there is a post today you can add a comment to, details are in the Guidelines / FAQ links at the bottom of most pages
Alas, all I can do is upvote your post and wish you success. And that I've done.