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The remaining users on EoL platforms should move on to supported ones.

That would be a more reasonable thing to say if the successor platforms weren't such user-hostile collections of dark patterns.

What’s keeping you from trying modern Linux distributions, eg. Cinnamon?

If some Windows-only applications are holding you back, most run well under Wine nowadays, and the rest you can run conveniently in a VM.

Come on man! They’ve only had 10-15 years! It snuck right up on them.