“I’m not an elitist,” Green said. “It’s just that I’d much rather sculpt or write in my journal or read Proust than sit there passively staring at some phosphorescent screen.”
https://theonion.com/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesn...
https://theonion.com/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesn...
Some stuff from the Onion is genius, but this is not it.