People have been trying to straighten things out for millennia and we are still in this predicament.
That isn't to say, don't try. It is to say, don't cling to an out come.
I realised it was a lost cause when I realised that literally everyone I knew had some sort of "my parents are imperfect and it's broken me somehow" story. I think it might just be part of the human condition to grow up and realise your parents were flawed humans who made mistakes raising you.
There is also just a matter of randomness.
Marcus Aurelius was considered one of the great emperors of Rome with a fairly level head considering his position. It seems like he would have been an idea parent, so when his son Commodus came a long as almost the total opposite. It says something about human nature, it cannot be contained at times.