Hacker News Reader

Comment by rekwah | Hacker News Reader

RE: Facebook Groups

I've never understood the psychological reasons behind pointless social commentary during moments of tragedy such as this.

My social media streams were full of blather: "I feel bad for the parents and kids", "I hate school shooters", "I hate kid killers!!...ad nauseum. No kidding! There is a support group for people like you, it's called Everybody.

Why comment at all? Is it some coping mechanism? Do they feel as if they will be judged because they didn't publicly admonish the shooter?

View on HN

Because if we let these events go by without comment, then we are bad people. If we take up the mantle and struggle against evil, then we are heroic.

That seems to be the thought process anyways.

I ended up making exactly one comment on the whole thing: "Not going to comment."

Some people feel an emotional identification with those at the centre of the event, and wish to communicate that with their social group so that they and their friends can support each other.

I don't do it either, but I don't particularly judge people who do. Everyone is different.

Before taking a crack at answering this for you, I'd like to know - how did you feel when you heard about the shooting? What was your reaction? Would you generally describe yourself as an empathic person?

I would personally describe myself as an empathetic person - but on hearing about the shooting I honestly couldn't care less. Terrible heinous crimes happen every day on a far greater magnitude than one school shooting.

Why should the world throw such an emotional hissy fit when 20 white kids are murdered versus when so many more are killed on a regular basis through war, starvation, and poverty?

so actually one of my favorite things about the United States is being able to send my 5 year old kid to school without worrying they'll die of war, starvation, or poverty.

not to lead your answer here; but, what- by your definition based in statistics- warrants empathy or sympathy? surely nothing? which by the way, i think is a fair point to defend as long as you're consistent. a loved one with cancer, for instance? hey, it happens all the time.

I have a bit similar opinion to rekwah and I basically didn't feel anything. I think I have slightly above average empathy.

About 100 people die every minute by the way.

that's interesting, because i too hold a similar opinion to rekwah, and consider myself nearly emotionless. with the ability to feign empathy. and i was moved to tears.

"About 100 people die every minute by the way."

i dont think you need my help to realize why this comment is hilariously off base. i didn't cry because people died. you have a very strange perspective.

I didn't mention that I'm from Europe, that may be a factor in my "don't care about it" attitude.

Please explain why the second comment is of base. It's just a different perspective of looking at it.

I would say that I was/am sympathetic, not empathetic. I recognize that it's a tragedy for them, but I don't feel similar emotions.

I'm curious if the reason behind such vocalization is because very few people actually feel empathy. A facade for their feelings of joy/relief that such things didn't occur to someone they know.

I, as you probably guessed, don't have any children. I presume my feelings on the subject would be different if that weren't the case.

with respect (i am speaking retro-introspectively)- i cannot understand how recognizing that your feelings would change with perspective isn't enough in and of itself to change them.

to me, admitting your feelings would change with perspective is admitting you simply cannot relate to what these people are going through. if your lack of empathy is derived from the inability to relate- that seems awfully selfish.

but at the same time, "i cannot pretend to relate with what these people are going through" sounds refreshingly empathetic if you ask me.

Because people want to demonstrate how compassionate they are. Everyone else is letting everyone know that they are praying for someone, then they should too, or else they are "bad."

Reply on news.ycombinator.com