I make a point of driving on Lower Wacker because it's fun, but for someone who doesn't drive downtown a lot, it's both kind of confusing and also a bit nerve-wracking; I wouldn't ever expect, like, my mom to drive it.
I bike on lower Randolph all the time. On lower lower Wacker only if you count crossing it between the Riverwalk and Lakeshore East Park.
Have you attempted to kidnap the DA during a prisoner transfer on Lower Wacker, only to be thwarted by a vigilante? If not, I question your Chicago bona fides.