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so without tailscale or any other intermediary turn service how does my computer behind a NAT connect to another computer behind another NAT

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Ideally using ipv6 without NAT, but yeah hole punching or quic address discovery like iroh does works too

and how do you discover the ipv6 address? memorize it? many ISPs don't listen to informational documents listing all the problems with random dynamic prefixes.

Dynamic DNS is fine for many use-cases.

I suppose, but then everybody else knows your IP too, which nullifies one of the benefits of IPv6.

You can use either iroh directly or do it like them with dns via pkarr and use mainline DHT and ed25519 public keys that you can share via separate channels

https://app.pkarr.org/

https://www.iroh.computer/blog/v1

by using something like iroh.

basically an embedded tailscale.

but it just moves the dependency from tailscale's relay servers to iroh's relay servers. Says it right there in your article:

> The public relays we run have seen more than 200 million endpoints created, in the last 30 days alone

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