Hello, me. It's been a while
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It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?
I just love silence.
I can't work in anything but complete silence. In open spaces I wear earplugs. (If I'm not wearing earplugs it means I'm not doing much of anything ;-) That's one of the main benefits of remote work: at my home there is complete silence most of the time.
I need silence for many other activities too. Cooking, reading (of course), even driving.
In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.
Headphones offer the only escape. They're also a sign that you are trying to concentrate to discourage those "just a quick word" moments which could easily be covered by an instant message.
For you I'd recommend some ear protectors that one might use when operating power tools :-).
I actually think ear protectors with some bluetooth headphones built in might be the ideal solution :-)
This is the reason I wear headphones, I don't even switch them on.
It seems to be less broadly understood than before and my work is often disrupted.
Depends on the location maybe too? I think in big cities I see more people with headphones on when they're out and about (which makes sense, cities tends to be noisy and not in the interesting way like nature is), compared to in the small town I live in now, where most people aren't wearing headphones, except if they exercise.
I guess it also depends on what you listen to. I've found certain types of electronic music to essentially put me in a "trance of focus and clarity" and as long as I keep it going, that can give me enough energy for hours to do all the chores of the day + end it all with a swim, all while listening to liquid drum & bass and forgetting about everything else in the world.
As long as people realize they are making this tradeoff, fine, I guess. But I wouldn't.
I'm fairly sure people are aware about the fact that they're missing a whole sense + some situational awareness when they're wearing headphones and walk around :)
Passing isn't something that is only the responsibility of the passer, that of course is absurd. Most people don't walk on the very edge of a path, but slightly off from the center (or in the shade close to the buildings if hot, or far from the street if puddles and raining, and etc), and you may also be carrying things that make you take up a lot of space.
So, in practice, as a walker, you do in fact have to be aware of people approaching from behind, at least, if you aren't an ass, because it is often kind (or even necessary) to move aside a bit to make passing easier / possible. Earphone people are some of the biggest assholes in these scenarios.
EDIT: But I fully agree that once you get out of the chaos of the downtown core, or likely plenty of other cities, this is probably just not really a meaningful problem / tradeoff.
Interesting difference between Canadians and Spanish people then, very interesting. Here it's expected you don't walk in the middle if you can, at least in metropolitan areas where people have very different walking speed. If you have to say something in order to pass the person, then the other person is already doing something wrong. Most people I see with headphones are indeed almost always walking very much on the sides, exactly so they are not in the way and don't need to be bothered.
> personal transportation devices (scooters, e-unicycles) and other things (roller blades, bikes, skateboards) where often the only sound is the noise of the wheels on the sidewalk / pavement making a quiet hiss / rumble
I guess this is a more practical difference, here all vehicles (including scooters, bicycles, and everything that doesn't have two meat legs) have dedicated streets/lanes, or use normal roads where cars go. None of those vehicles go at the same street/pavement where pedestrians go, so I don't think headphone-wearing pedestrians have to worry about the same thing as the Toronto people seemingly have to watch out for. You could walk blindfolded more or less in central Barcelona, and not get close to being hit by any bicycles or scooters. In fact, there are tons of blind people seemingly navigating the city just well :)
Hope you get more modern car-alternative infrastructure in the soon future! It helps a lot to separate a whole host of traffic you don't want with pedestrians, and is easily worth the investment.
I try and listen to other things, podcasts or music, sadly nothing compares to that golden silence.
My day-to-day mundane work is a bit different, but I still cannot listen to music with lyrics. I have found to my surprise that the soundtrack of 8-bit games (SNES et al) really helps.
I now have a playlist full of those, with soundtracks from Star Fox to A Link to the Past. Really helps with the mundane stuff.
I can't generalize for everyone and maybe some of those people you observe are just listening to music all day long.
In my circle, we have earphones all the time because we're listening to podcasts of news, tech industry commentary, macroeconomics and finance, etc. If one is working in an area where you're professionally rewarded by being curious about the changing world and being "plugged in", having "headphones on all the time" can help with staying up-to-date. Even with all that headphone time, there are still many hours in the day in personal silence. Laying in bed consolidating various thoughts before falling asleep. Standing in the shower. Reading blogs, etc. Before podcasts, we'd have to "waste time" sitting in front of the computer to catch up on the same material. Podcasts help us multitask.
Of course, not everybody needs (or wants) to have headphones on all the time. The mathematician Andrew Wiles pursued Fermat's Last Theorem for 30 years before finally solving it. He doesn't need a random podcast that talks about the Iran war and its downstream economic effects on manufacturing computer chips. That type of "useless" news would probably bore him.
>, even driving. In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.
It just depends on the threshold of mindless activity. If I'm driving in an unknown city with confusing one-way streets, I don't want a podcast voice yapping in my ear while I'm concentrating on reading the traffic signs. On the other hand, driving through 100 miles of monotonous corn fields on a highway means I can catch up on a backlog of podcasts.
The multitasking I was talking about was combining a mindless repetitive task that has low cognitive demands such as walking on a treadmill, yardwork raking leaves, driving on non-descript boring roads ... with listening to a podcast about whatever topics are interesting. The mind is engaged while the hands and feet doing the work are on autopilot. In those cases, it can be a "free lunch" in the sense that the curiosity-seeking mind got fed while whatever physical task that needed to get done also got done with less procrastination and dread.
I wasn't talking about trying to edit a Excel spreadsheet while listening and concentrating on a podcast about the politics and protests of datacenter buildouts.
But... if I didn't... I made substantially more money per hour. Partially by being faster, but mostly by being better.
On the surface, it felt like nothing was going on, simple as driving to work, but just having that headspace for intuition to happen made a big difference. Also, probably worth mentioning that I never did production work, only explorative, so perception/intuition was maybe overweighted.
I half suspect that it's true for all of life, though. It's just a lot harder to tell when you don't have the market telling you the value of how you spent your hours each week.
Those 2 sentences are based on 2 misconceptions/assumptions that need to be clarified.
1) That being bored is better than ingesting information. There seems to be a bias that self-dialogue and introspection is "superior" to external information. That depends on the person and so it's not always true. For some, when left to their own thoughts, they get into negative loops replaying past mistakes, or anguish about upcoming dilemmas ("Should I quit my job?", "Should I put mom in a nursing home?" etc) to which they don't have answers for. This is what some call "getting stuck in a rut" or "beating yourself up". It's inflicting self-harm. You can try to tell people "just don't think of negative thoughts and just sit there thinking of nothing". That doesn't work because it's like the joke of instructing people, "Don't think of an elephant!" -- which causes people to immediately think of an elephant. Instead of destructive loops, maybe a steady diet of external voices can help reframe things or just give the mind other ideas that are more productive and healthier to think about. To improve the quality of introspection, maybe look for quality external ideas.
2) My comment gave the impression I do nothing else but listen to podcasts and have no silent contemplative time. That's not what happens. For the first ~8 hours after I wake up, that's when my mind is most alert and mentally sharp. I do not "waste" this energy on listening to podcasts at all. That's when I do my contemplations, coding, etc. However, after the morning when my mind starts to drag... that's when it's ok to listen to audiobooks. Since I have to go outside to spread several cubic yards of mulch (mindless unpleasant housework), I queue up several podcasts to feed the mind while the work gets done. At that later point in the day, the brain is too fried to have deep introspection but it can still handle a lightweight podcast talking about trends in AI. Hopefully pick up some new ideas to bounce around the next morning's contemplative session. It's optimizing the schedule of activities to match the ups and downs in mental energy throughout the day. For neighbors who observe me, they just see that "he has headphones on all the time". Yes, because they don't shadow me at my desk in the morning when I don't.
I think there are some in this thread that assume the audiobooks/podcasts are "junk food" and the silent introspection is the "good and pure nourishment". That's not necessarily true. The opposite may be the case.
The interesting thing is, exercise is more effective and beneficial when brain is focused on what body is doing, i.e. doing mindful exercise is more beneficial than giving brain a pacifier while body is doing something else.
On the "procrastination & dread": The brain has a daily limit on hard concentration. From my personal experience (during my Ph.D.) it tops around four hours most. I also find staying put very useful and beneficial, because after stuffing too much information into it, your brain needs to sift through and filter it. Also I find myself refining my previous ideas while staying put and doing nothing maybe except writing down what I'm refining or journaling.
You can create brain fatigue, fog or plain burnout by trying to make it run flat our all day long. Let it rest, reset and restore. You'll have much more happier.
A big hotel chain takes a group of housekeepers and told them that their work also doubles as exercise. When compared to the control group, I believe after 8 weeks, the group which told that their work also doubles as exercise lost some weight collectively. Looks like the paper is at [0].
I have also done some further research into this, and found a couple of related studies.
One is [1]. Which simply states that focusing on the muscle group you're working on increases its activity and doubles the build-up. More references are present in the article.
Another study [2], tells that having an external focus point (music, podcasts or something) allows brain to make actions automatic and improve movement efficiency and economy, meaning the energy used is decreased IIUC. Hence, focusing internally makes body to burn more energy.
This study [3] states that listening to well selected music can improve efficiency and work output while reducing perceived strain. Improved efficiency again reduces the burnt calories per fixed time period, hence somewhat reducing the effectiveness of the exercise itself.
Hence, if you want to go far, some music or podcast can be beneficial, but for burning maximum calories in a limited time slot, looks like it reduces the effectiveness of the exercise somewhat.
Hope this helps.
[0]: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01...
[1]: https://larsonsportsortho.com/mind-muscle-connection-can-bui...
Is that supposed to be better? Modern humans can't stand listening to their own thoughts
For me music helps me concentrate with some tasks (especially in a more noisy environment where there are more distracting sounds), distracts for others, and for some just makes it a little less boring. I don't really find that I want it for the sake of displacing my own thoughts, if I'm bored doing something it's because there aren't any particularly interesting thoughts involved (and full disclosure, I have ADHD so my mind doesn't really need any encouragement at all to wander).
Pretty much everyone can benefit with some time for introspection. This is considerably easier to do if you have silence and boredom. Music, podcasts, television all hinder the practice of introspection. It takes practice though and that means being okay with silence and constantly keeping your mind on the task of examining your thoughts and feelings.
I think the poster was perhaps expressing that it doesn't look like enough people are comfortable with this process and seem to do anything they can to avoid it.
For you. It hinders the process for you. Some people think better when not in complete silence.
Anyone that tries to speak broadly and paint everyone with the same brush when talking about neurological phenomena is clearly completely out of touch with the subject. The mind is a wonderfully complex and wholly unique thing. What works for one might not work for another.
People go to therapy, group therapy, read, etc in order to have thoughts of others that seem rather important to introspective thought to me. I don't think all audio media and forms of listening would fit, but I don't think all wouldn't fit as those important inputs.
Just being yourself with no external stimuli. A lot of people go through the whole day listening to podcasts, books and music, from morning commute to falling asleep
Hell yes. And the other bits of me hate me and each other. Being alone with my own thoughts can be a dangerous situation.
I don't know about other people, but for me, if I'm using my earbuds it is because someone around me is being distracting and/or annoying.
I usually prefer silence for work, but often that isn't an option.
This means, no music when working out, on public transit, when grocery shopping etc.
The reason I did this was because I was noticing that the music was getting me too hyped and that was interfering with my sleep. Sometimes, it was even stuck in my head while I was lying on my bed trying to sleep.
Noise canceling headphones do the trick for me, I just don’t play anything through them. I don’t like the feeling of something in my ears.
FYI: I believe the XM4 is still vulnerable to CVE-2025-20700/20701/20702 if that's a concern for you.
- Starting my career during the beginning of and through the peak of the open floor plan office trained me to use headphones as a signal to others that I wanted to be left alone / needed to focus on my task. Now I catch myself doing it in other contexts subconsciously, like the gym, and have to stop myself sometimes to make sure I am doing it intentionally. I am at the age now where like you, I either prefer silence, or reminisce about the bygone days where people struck up conversations, past the usual pleasantries - just deep conversation with a total stranger that you may or may not ever see again, which wearing headphones takes away that possibility.
- silence is generally, in my opinion, for content people and/or people not struggling with a mental illness. I'd venture a guess that our field skews towards people who have negative internal voices. Having something playing as a distraction can take you away from those destructive thoughts. I had to do a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and soul searching to be content with silence.
But for me it's music playing in the background. Podcasts I have to listen to, background music just… goes—my thoughts are free to wander.
I find that when the music is not on, I start up a song in my head—and usually an annoying one for some reason—and it will be on an endless loop until I put on something external.
> I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?
No, some people just like to do things listening to music or similar things.
I am just like you, but my guess is most people are not in this category. I also like empty space - no matter how big my living space is (not that it is big), I hate to fill it with things I don't need. Perfectly happy with just keeping only those things I need and leave the rest of the space empty. In this too, I have noticed, I am in the minority.
Not saying one is better than the other. If people like sound/noise, it is their choice. That said, people who like silence are at a disadvantage, as silence is becoming rarer and rarer, whereas noise is everywhere. At minimum, it would be nice if people put their headphones on and not bother others...
For me I do find a similar experience to the OP. It’s easy to feel yourself going a little crazy getting sucked along the current of modern life. Flowing from one activity to the next, looking at one’s phone in the between, never any chance for an extended thought except when laying down for bed. If you don’t break out of this mode it’s easy to let weeks go by without noticing or taking much conscious impulse to shape your day.
When I was staying with a friend, he had a big house, and I'd constantly go downstairs to get coffee. I didn't even need the coffee, it was just a little change of scenery.
If there are three mental modes, two out of three are passive. Let's call this third mode "creative mode". Instead of consuming or meditating, do something else offline that requires developing a skill with your undivided attention.
Even when you're inspired, the interpretation is still your own. There's no way it could ever feel like wasted time because the intrinsic value of experience is so much higher than the other two states.
With enough experience, your own unique ideas will dominate your mind. That's when you finally feel in control.
Your ending paragraph: "With enough experience, your own unique ideas will dominate your mind. That's when you finally feel in control." also reads as something that could probably also be seen as potentially bad / delusion, in spiritual contexts as well (real control is mostly illusion, you actually do often want other people's ideas to dominate the mind, lest you fall into solipsism / narcissism, etc). Not to pick at your short comment here or presume that though, but it definitely sets off a red flag of some kind.
I don't think this tug of war is necessary. You do, however, make a great point about people who are stressed out.
I wouldn't turn to "creative mode" as a stress management technique. Stress can ruin anything.
The thought has crossed my mind before that the lies and manipulation of a narcissist are a waste of talent.
While this is true, I'd word it differently:
It's sort of the opposite of an activity, and we've conditioned our brains to hate it.
Boredom used to be absolutely normal in our society for pretty much ever, and the urge to do something about it when it occurred was a lot weaker than it is now.
But I remember I absolutely dreaded going to the doctor's office, taking a long distance train, or any other kind of "activity" that involved long periods of waiting around. I would find it extremely boring and would try to negotiate with my parents in whatever way I could to avoid going.
I have a doctor like this, and it's totally worth the wait as she actually listens to people and provides useful information. I do generally try to get a morning appointment with her though, as otherwise it can take a loooooonnnnngggg time.
It's not a bill for healthcare. It's a punishment for wasting resources. Like at buffets where they charge you for uneaten food on your plate when you leave.
HCPs in socialized medicine often still get reimbursed based on activity, so a missed appointment means they miss out on reimbursement. Makes sense you ought to owe them for costing them money.
As an adult, it's just not the same. Children's brains are not fully developed, and their desire for stimulus seems very different than an adult's. I think the closest I've come to experiencing this as an adult is in the early '00s. I didn't get my first smartphone until I was nearly 30. I suppose back then I didn't love waiting or being bored, but it wasn't an awful, terrible thing that I just had to fix all the time.
Nowadays I try to avoid filling the quiet times with my phone or some other stimulus. If I'm doing dishes or cleaning up around the house, I let it be quiet, and let my mind wander. If I'm on a train or a bus, I'll do my best to put away my phone and stare out the window, and get lost in my thoughts. If I'm in a waiting room at a doctor's office, I'll people-watch, or just close my eyes and think. It's really nice.
It's all more instant and always available. I mean books were too (at some point people were complaining about kids these days always reading), but it's different.
Am I worried? A little, because at the same time I keep reminding myself that every generation was worried about what people are up to this time. In 20 years people will probably be nostalgic for today in some way.
In the future some people will surely feel the same about "Device X" and smartphones, and ask themselves "Why can't they be old school and just sit with their smartphone instead?"
Eventually the computer appeared though, which did well in keeping us more inside, at least in the non-summer.
Today as a software developer I think it's easier than ever. We're already past the "the compiler is building" excuse, but now you can just claim "The agent is thinking/working", and sit and do nothing.
You don't have to switch window/tab as the agent is working, you can just sit there and stare at what it is doing, marvel that this stuff works at all, and let your mind wander if it wants, until the terminal bell goes off.
Waiting for a bus, waiting in line at a post office, waiting for your wife to get ready for bed. Those moments are still there and if you don't pull your phone out the boredom is still there
I have headphones present constantly for the opposite reason. When doing tasks that fail to provide interest (housework, some work tasks) the external stimulus stops me distractedly finding something else (posting on HN for instance!) to do instead of completing the task. Also when running in town, though I don't need it when out on the trails as the scenery is more than enough to sooth my mind into a pleasant state.
Here's to the slow thinking! Cheers!!
https://xcancel.com/pinkerhero/status/1877163466168922473
>Good morning
>I'm moving a bit slow today but... I plan on having a good day anyway!
With age, this is becoming my default setting.
For me, I'm not sure if "slow" is the right word. I think "delayed" or "sporadic" is more accurate.
Thoughts for me are like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, but you can't think of it right away. Often you'll think of the word later: you weren't actively thinking about it, but the thought was simmering in your mind and just randomly pops up.
I recently listened to the Hammock Driven Development talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f84n5oFoZBc) and it raises the very interesting point that it's not really the concious mind that makes big breakthroughs on hard problems, it's mainly the subconcious mind synthesizing information. It seems obvious to me that constantly intaking information will ruin this synthesization.
Sadly for some reason our brain loves filling the silence with junk...
Natural selection might pick for this trait because if you can gather and evaluate and otherwise process a large volume of information you might be able to better find food, avoid getting eaten, and finding a mate to mate with.
executive function and intuition filter, but you need a bunch of data to feed on.
Now intersect those locations with internet coverage.
Your statement didn't make much sense anymore
Now give this monkey tiktok and sensory overload.
Even if we could completely rewrite our programming with each new generation, think about how much the world changes in a single lifetime these days.
I don't find that it does, for me. If I'm chewing on a hard technical problem, then I actually need the surface-level distraction of a podcast or a news article or a ballgame to keep it from dominating my conscious thoughts and let my subconscious get to work.
Where I agree with the author, and you, is that I can't do creative work - mainly writing, now, but back when I did this sort of thing professionally: coming up with approaches to a text, or ideas for sets and costumes, or exercises to get my actors where I wanted them to be - without time spent in "silence".
N=1, and all that, but I'm always intrigued by how different people's brains work, well, differently.
I still haven't done it, and my reflex for listening to something - even after my listening backlogs emptied a few months back - suggests I'm essentially addicted. Especially considering how much better I feel when I don't take my airpods out with me.
So, time to deal with that I guess. Thanks for the push.
So, time to deal with that.
i still walk around at home with my airpods in like a zombie, but i've found some opportunities to free my brain, like when i'm walking outside in the city for short walks i try to go airpod-free. or when i have a short drive, i listen to the radio (NTS) instead of a podcast and it reeeeallly feels great to feel unplugged and listen to my thoughts and feelings for a bit. i guess the stimulation from those activities (seeing the city, having to drive, etc) helps make it easier to unplug a bit.
other things that are obvious in hindsight: i think it's also easier for me to exist at home without ear heroin when i've slept really well, when i'm not feeling pressured or nervous, and when i'm not amped up on coffee or stims.
Doing dishes, mowing the lawn, even just waiting for agents to finish, this need for distraction has really taken a hold of me, and it’s even getting in the way of me wanting to do things that I feel would motivate me again.
I can’t help but wonder if agentic development has exacerbated this problem for me. There are so many more times where I just have to wait for things now. Sometimes I can multitask, and work on two things at once, but often that ends with me doing both things with less craft. So I end up consuming content more, which feels addictive too… and I’m not even talking about TikTok or Instagram or Youtube Shorts (and i don’t judge those who do consume there). I mainly consume longer form Youtube, Podcasts or honestly, TV shows that I’ve seen multiple times before.
It’s like the agentic tools incentivize NOT thinking very hard, and so I do it less, making it more intimidating to start thinking hard about a problem because it feels like a waste of time. Which, paradoxically, is why I think I am consuming much more content than I used to, filling up space with intellectual junk food.
I read an interview from a musician I'm a fan of where they were responding to "what do you listen to when you are driving?" and they responded along the lines of "I like to listen to the engine and my thoughts". I winced a bit thinking how little time I allow my brain to just do its thing.
But I've noticed that if I have something on my mind, I just tend to ruminate and spin in circles. Not sure how constructive or useful at all that is. At least listening to a podcast or similar can provide new things to think about.
People who drown out boredom or silence tend to eliminate wandering thoughts, introspection, autobiographical thinking, pondering of relations, effectively the kind of internal reflection that's necessary from time to time. It's pretty common now to hear people say that they're uncomfortable with silence exactly for that reason.
I know that I’m unusual, in that sense, but there you have it.
I do listen to music, on my morning walks, though. That’s the only time, during the day, when I do.
I’ll check it out, but it’s still likely that I won’t listen.
Convenient narrative, but not at all a new phenomenon. I had friends like this in the 90's. And I'm not seeing more people like this than in those days.
In these situations, I tend to prefer having some kind of "ambient" music on, instrumental only, so I can be isolated from the distracting environment. Noise cancelling doesn't work well enough against voices, although I do enjoy the reduction of random ambient noise (A/C hum and the like).
It turns out there is a fair amount of research done on this, look into:
This happened to me. I justified it because "I was learning", and "it's like listening to the radio, but better", or "this content is good for me", but when every moment alone is filled with someone else's words and thoughts, you stop having any of your own.
I have headphones on everywhere I go. If I’m outside I have them on, while I’m doing work in the office I have them on, when I’m doing sport I have them on. When I don’t have them on, I’m usually at home and I’m playing stuff via speakers.
I’m not playing stuff only when I’m out with friends, of course.
To be honest I think it’s one of the reasons why I feel very good and comfortable being on my own alone. But I definitely agree that there might be some kind of addiction in all of this.
> but when every moment alone is filled with someone else's words and thoughts, you stop having any of your own
I don’t necessarily agree with this, especially because I think about the thing that is being discussed and agree/disagree for different reasons. I might argue that podcast give you a reason to think about “unusual” things sometimes?
Back in about 2007 I realized I was doing this. At the gym, snowboarding, walking to work, at the supermarket.
I realized it closed me off from meeting new people and living in the now. Music encouraged me to drift away and think about some other time in my life when I saw that band, or was at a great party or something.
So I put the iPod away and have never done it since. I don’t own headphones now, have not done for 20 years. Really happy I made the correction not to get sucked in.
The moment I bought land it stopped. I wanted to be present, to hear the sounds, appreciate the changing seasons. Music and audio books got in the way.
I cancelled spotify and audible and haven't looked back.
Nowadays, I find I am getting back into sitting still and doing nothing, and I have zero desire to give my attention to music of audio books.
I now realize that taking moments to walk, eat, clean the house with nothing to listen to can be really productive and beneficial.
This article also reminds me of a recent video by Simple Lucas: https://youtube.com/watch?v=NZD5IFpyDcE
so...maybe you just don't see your inner dialogue, or the "monkey mind" ? and are unaware of this, yet a slave to it.
You can scroll Twitter / read Hacker News or other sources of comments online, scroll TikTok / YouTube shorts slop-spam, read books, or constantly pipe in music / podcasts in any free moment (and these are very different and all can be good and bad in different ways), but if you are constantly fleeing boredom by grasping for whatever distraction is immediately available (even if this activity is typically seen as good, like "learning" or "reading books", or benign, like listening to music), this constant distraction has negative long-term consequences for personal growth.
There is a reason boredom comes up as crucial and important in spiritual practices (most meditation practices broadly involve forcing you to confront and learn to be comfortable with boredom, to some degree) and existential philosophy, and it is because boredom (especially existential boredom) is one way the mind tells you might not be being properly challenged, or that certain aspects of your life might not be truly fulfilling at the moment.
And sure, sometimes it isn't clear how to fix these issues, so distraction isn't inherently bad. But if all you do is distract, you'll flounder. So be wary IMO of habitually reaching for distraction (even if mild, like music / podcasts).
They also make boring work bearable. Terry Pratchett is a huge favorite :-)
I was unemployed for about half a year recently and I got a much less stressful job after that. It's strange because I felt and still feel humiliated about it all and yet actual life has become much better. My behavior at home improved - as noted by my wife. I've got some DIY projects done at home which were pointless (could have paid for them) but very satisfying.
My kid is delightful and although nothing has changed I realised that I am living through one of the golden periods in life - where one doesn't think too much about it but the important things are really good. Stressful work wasn't allowing me to see it and I was numbing life out to try to cope. There have been some very very un-golden times in the past and it is unfortunate not to be able to enjoy the good when it is there.
Beautiful articulation.
Imo, better than the alternative of avoidance. Yet somehow, it is marketed as relaxing. The relaxing part comes after one deals with the unrelaxing part.
But I certainly agree that not giving myself the space to explore is detrimental.
Since my ordered ranking is Silence, then Music, with Office Noise last, music it is.
ADHD, I've often said, is mis-named. It's not attention deficit, it's uncontrollable attention. Although there are many factors that go into the thing labeled ADHD, a large part of it is usually that the "control center" of the brain (the part that controls "executive function", deciding what to do next and so on) is underpowered compared to most people. (Which, I'm told, is why stimulant medication often has the seemingly-paradoxical effect of "calming down" hyperactive kids: because it helps stimulate the executive-function part of the brain, thereby giving them more control over their own thought processes. Certainly that's how it works for me, though as a middle-aged man I'm no longer hyperactive the way I was when I was a boy). So I manage my ADHD brain in two ways: one, I take medication that gives me more ability to control my attention (though not as much as a non-ADHD person usually has), and two, I play tricks on myself. I know that when my attention wanders, it'll usually wander off to something within the range of my immediate senses: my line of sight, or something I'm hearing. So I give myself things that will catch my attention but not hold it for very long... and wordless music is one of the ones that works best for me.
So really, it all depends on how your particular brain functions.
I need music otherwise my brain starts playing music instead of ruminating on thoughts. I also need to keep my body occupied. At least doing the dishes or something, going for a run or walk even better.
Background talking is fine but it has to be from strangers. If there's a tiny little chance someone might say something where I can contribute (like in an office), that ruins any and all ability to think. Brain goes on high alert listening for cues
But I also get restless when it's too quiet. Everyone has their own preferences, but ultimately I think the key point is whether you have control. Like, I hate chaotic spaces, but love chaotic music sometimes.
A trick I used when I restarted my blog in 2017 after stopping publishing in 2010 was to backfill it with a bunch of content imported from other places - mostly my answers to questions on Quora and Ask MetaFilter.
That's the great thing about having a self-hosted blog: it's your site, you make the rules.
Apparently some guys made a nice POC during a hackathon: https://devpost.com/software/bananaduck
and being forced to be alone with my thoughts is awesome because i am optimized to seize the opportunity.
https://www.unsungnovelty.org/posts/04/2025/you-dont-need-ai...
take off and take in the stream
living room and screens
It's too simplistic to just apply a label like ADHD to people. Preferring distraction or silence is only a small part of the diagnostic criteria, and modern diagnostics are more about "how well do you function / how much / what help do you need" than applying a label.
I know I was not alone in being wired that way, obviously not a conversation you have with random strangers, but in conversation with people I know well, it would appear it's fairly common in the world we live in. Or perhaps I've just got a uniquely disfunctional group of friends hah. But, work on the Meaning Crisis as John Vervaeke calls it, increases in mental health issues, and declining birth rates, lead me to believe this is endemic.
I've been fortunate to have been able to spend the past 15 months fucking off and looking inside to wrestle with this and I'm fairly convinced our HumanOS or whatever you want to call it, the ego, is no longer fit for purpose for a lot of people in modernity.
Before I go further, I'll acknowledge that our ego has served us well for most of human history, it's driven progress to this point that has, for a large swath of the population, eliminated hunger, and we're much more secure than we've ever been generally.
But, I'd argue it's become increasingly problematic since somewhere around The Enlightenment / Scientific Revolution, very problematic in the past 100 years or so, and quite frankly, supercharged since the advent of the internet, smart phones, and social media.
Our ancient ancestors were influenced by people in their immediate orbit, and it was a symbiotic relationship of sorts, everyone had a vested interest in the success of those around them and vice versa. As our society has evolved, this alignment has dwindled, and with the advent of the internet, we're constantly being blasted by attempts to influence us, that no longer have our best interest at heart, but our programming hasn't caught up.
So now, this programming that once provided a stable sense of self, is now constantly being blasted with conflicting ideas of the self, it's increasingly difficult to keep the inner and outer world in alignment, and well, the ego is an engine that is burning up. For a lot of us, this manifests with the negative self talk that we'll all do anything we can to avoid, and one of the most effective ways to do so, is to avoid being idle, anything we can do to keep the mind focused outward rather than inward.
Those of us that are alive today don't have the luxury of waiting for evolutionary pressures to 'solve' this problem for future generations. In my personal experience, the solution seems to be waking up to these machinations of ego. Don't fully understand how it works, but it seems that awareness of said machinations can act as a recursive loop to silence them.