What you should do is make software good enough so your users will use it, and publish the source code under a free license. The first Debian developer that uses and likes your software will package it, and the virtous cycle can start. It can be tempting to "own" the user experience (after all, everone wants to own their customer) but one has to let go of that thought. Updates can not be expected to get pushed out the same day when you don't own the customer, but that's overall a good thing.
Ask the distro people what you can do to make their work easier, listen to them, but do not try to do their work for them. Unless you live in that distro you are unlikely to understand how they expect your software to behave and the nuances of how it should be packaged.
One of the good ideas about Linux packaging is that it is not the same people that make the software that package it. Code can be reviewed. Bad ideas can be caught. This principle is sometimes violated, but that violations happen doesn't make them a good idea. We live in a world where no one should execute random software from the Internet without any form of reputation or review, and distribution packaging suggests one way we can accomplish that. A way that has survived three decades, after all, so maybe it's worth listening to.