jealous. i've had tinnitus ever since i had memories. my literal earliest memories are laying down when i was put down for a nap and vividly paying attention to the sound. dunno if i was born with it or had some crazy ear infection or what but ive just given up that anything can be done. i'm fortunate it's not all bad but i can't sleep without a fan. i sometimes get sad that i genuinely don't know what no sound is like. i've never experienced true silence :/ when im super tired i get some weird auditory effects like the tinnitus sound gets super choppy almost like a rumbly gating flutter like the tubes deep in my ear are spazzing out as im drifting off to sleep. im probably gonna die idk