My hacker friend is doing the whole living out of the back of a van thing... in a good way... by choice.
As to admitting defeat to the system, sure you could look at it what way, but you could also argue that the defeat came when you quit! But that's mind games and you can play those on your own, you don't need me for that.
Suffice it to say, if you proving everyone else right or wrong is a major concern for you, that's a problem, school is not.
I think your last paragraph is an excellent plan, hell it sounds a lot like what I did in college.
Except that my attitude to esoteric material was: C- is all I need to pass.
The professors then look at you with those puppy dog eyes: But you can do better!
I know, that's why I'm not bothering with this shit.
Cynicism is the appropriate response to less then honest systems like college often is. Another word for cynicism is realism.
And your plan talk to professors outside of class and view fellow classmates as future partners, isn't cynical at all, in fact it's very positive.
The view that academic bureaucracy isn't there to help you, could be described as cynical, but then again it could also be described as factual.