I'm constantly impressed by people that have the ability to share their personal life with the world in an honest way that reveals the vulnerabilities we all share as humans. It is so much more refreshing than the opposite, where we pretend our lives are perfect and we never experience moments of doubt or melancholy.
It is rare to see someone make a post like this. This is precisely what makes it so refreshing and beautiful.
My dad passed away eleven months ago, no day goes by without thinking of him, and I may be able to get to the end of this without crying, but I can't manage a blog post.
Its been 15 years for me, and it gets easier with time. But recently I hit the 15 year mark and just lost it. For some reason that number was bigger than any year previously. I suspect it had something to do with the fact that I have lived 55% of my life without my father around.
But let's not fall into the trap of "honest, open sharing" is better than pretending, that pretending is bad, or that either is better than not sharing at all. Lots of people make their lives better by pretending enough so that it becomes so. Lots of people also aren't interested in sharing at all. Lots of what appears to be open honest vulnerability sharing is also posturing and pretending, but it's hard for an outsider to know.
tl;dr- don't judge.
After the successful adoption, my aunt completely changed. All she ever wanted was a family and to raise children. Adopting their son from Korea inspired her again. She got off medication and returned to her fun, outgoing self. It was an amazing transformation. They wee both in their mid forties when they decided to adopt.
I'm so sorry for your lose, but please, don't get discouraged and give up on having a family. Consider adoption. There are so many different kinds of adoption available these days and there are so many children in need of good loving families like yours.
If you need more information, DM me and I can go in more detail about their experience.
There are options available for people that want to have a family, and god knows there are far to many children out there that can really, really use a loving parent or two.
As a father of two I may come off as smug here, but I can tell you that the first year of a child's life is more going through the motions. The following years are really where you can make a difference, and where they certainly make a difference in you.
I seriously hope once they are over their grief period, that couple takes your advice. A child out there could have his life changed forever because of it.
We are lucky as we have a 1 year old son but we really would love more. My sympathies are with you.
EDIT: Here it is: http://web.archive.org/web/20101214221345/http://diveintomar...
Every now and then, like you said, it's refreshing.
Really? My feelings on Notch have been greatly elevated by it. It shows an incredibly positive attitude about life.
After those connections are made, if a large percentage of future communication consisted of these types of messages, it becomes a large burden to the recipient. Obviously Notch's post doesn't come near this.
That isn't to say you can't open up to your friends/family. We need to do that. It is just important that you give as much as you get. My wife is an incredibly open and caring person, and I've seen her get dumped on by people who only give their burdens but are never willing to receive any. That is when sharing becomes selfish.
What Notch is talking about is life.