Why Estonians invite strangers into their back gardens each summer
bbc.com
bbc.com
It's not free. While there is a lot of theoretical opportunity for bonding, it's still just a temporary commercial enterprise.
For anyone who has lived here, it's a known fact that Estonians won't exactly engage with strangers in a warm way, if at all. Smiling at strangers is considered poor social form here and it doesn't matter if you're a foreigner or native.
It does increase social cohesion amongst neighbors at least for a week or two. Kodukohvikud are a unique experience but it's not really "inviting strangers in my backyard" in the way a free community oriented and socially engaging event would be. Naturally, the article will only show the very few who have a story to tell while ignoring the fact that 90% of them don't have one to tell.
You get your keefir, you get your viineripirukas, pay for it, eat isolated with your family on a table and that's all most of the time.
It's akin to someone who makes pizzas to sell in the terrace to passersby. Really cool, quite nice but again, weird framing because you wouldn't say that about "Jean Paul who sells pizza from his balcony", so to speak.
I still love it, though!
That being said I'm super excited for this weekend's event in Tammelinn[0]. I'm on a mission to find who has the best rabarberikook.
Enjoy the Tammelinn event and bless the city for me!
But what I would personally like on the other hand is that the smiles and the welcoming attitude would not happen only within the kodukohvikud and in peak summer sun but all year round. A big dose of empathy would make life easier for all of us.
And I speak Estonian. I can't even begin to imagine how cold it is for those who don't. I'm also Brazilian, so my genuineness and expectation of welcoming conversations surely set a high bar.
It's not. Insincerity and mindless, automatic smiles might be a little bit frowned upon. Genuine, but subtle smiles (as appropriate for strangers) are appreciated, at least for the younger generation. The older generation might still be somewhat "traumatized" by the Soviet occupation and its cultural effects.
I've also lived in Amsterdam and even people on the street who were not my neighbors smiled and said good morning and often that triggered a little conversation and laughters.
Like I said, I'm Brazilian and I've also lived in Ireland where people are super warm. There is no "insincerity" and "mindless" assumed, only the desire to make our days a little more bearable, warm and welcoming.
The younger generation is better indeed but they also come with a new set of anti-social behavior. Just like every generation, really. Not blaming either one in here.
The attitude always shifts a little when I speak Estonian, though and for that I'm happy enough. I have adapted but will never stop smiling at the shops or at the people who live nearby. I don't expect them to be like me but I also won't erase myself as if I'm being insincere because I'm simply not. I rather be a positive force for change.
To each their own, I reckon. I guess a good neighbor it's the one you don't talk to.
re: the greeting, I think introverts around the world do not necessarily appreciate being randomly greeted by strangers, they just get used to it if the culture is like that. From that perspective, I don't think just a random greeting from a stranger always makes people feel more warm and the days more bearable either. It's more of a correlation rather than causation.
People have different personalities and different associations.
I've also had amazing and unforgettable memories in Estonia with people who I never saw again in my life. It's just harder in here.
As for correlation, a single stranger certainly not. But I have lost count of how many Estonians visited UK/Ireland/Spain and came back telling me they were so happy about being an "amigo" or at having incredible customer service that didn't make them feel unwelcome like a chore.
It does matter.
the flip side is that extroverts around the world don't necessarily like everyone giving the impression that their existence is an inconvenience, they just get used to it if the culture implies that seeking interaction with people they don't have a close interaction with is rude or suspicious behaviour...
(as for Estonia it may have assimilated Russian smile-aversion as well as being nearly as culturally introverted as Finland)
I couldn't have said it better and I'm stealing this from ya. Beautifully said.
as an introvert, I like this discussion.
Irish people making small talk is practically a competitive sport.
Could be one of you is sharing the experience of life in a city, while the other is sharing the experience of some smaller places, or just two places very far away from each other?
I'm totally okay with disagreeing, I was just answering in earnest.
Interestingly, cars are very important in the Estonian society, as they allow to signal one's status in a community without having to engage socially. When I arrived, I bought a car (a Skoda, neither cheap or expensive), which happened to be the same as my neighbors.
Two week after, they came back with a gigantic BMW SUV, and gave me "the (contemptuous) stare" when our paths crossed in the hallway. Of course, I chuckled, which I guess wasn't the expected reaction.
As a result, for most people, Estonia is a pretty depressing society, on top of being a pretty harsh and regressive social system. They are very good at marketing themselves to the world, which is why you will often see people gloating about Estonia on social media. In reality they are far on every aspect from ever being a "Nordic country", which they like to call themselves.
They are „advertised“ by hanging a broom outside (Besen is broom).
You tend to go visit a few over an afternoon, because they concentrate on certain wine-making towns.
Heuriger in Vienna are permanent buildings and can serve warm food and drinks other than wine and may open all year round.
Can't imagine the food safety institutions even considering pop-up home cafes in my native Belgium.
Many states in the US have "cottage food" laws that allow low-risk foods (think baked goods, jams, jellies, candies, nuts, etc) to be labeled "this is an unregulated unlicensed cottage food product" and sold without a license. Belgium may have something similar.
You can even check all menus and availability online (unfortunately only in Latvian): https://majaskafejnicas.lv/destinations/
It's crazy that your 1st thought seeing a stranger in your village is that he might be lost or distressed.
For the unfamiliar, the Isle of Man hosts a world-renown motorsport race, mainly motorcycles, widely considered the most dangerous and deadly race in the world. Average of 2 to 3 fatalities per year.
It's a rather small and relatively sparsely populated island, but for the weeks of the race, the population absolutely explodes as visitors come from all over the world.
The local government runs a program called Homestay, which encourages residents to rent out their properties or spare rooms, etc, to tourists. And I stayed in one such Homestay. I think I paid 25 pounds a night to stay for about 2 weeks, in the 4th largest town on the island.
It's a great deal, my hosts were amazing, and it's a much better experience than a hotel if you care about learning about the island. I met their entire family and they shared "local knowledge" of interesting spots to check out.
Many listed here: https://www.heritageopendays.org.uk/
Not Estonian, but a Swedish fellow I knew always had a summer event with lawn darts and other odd games and food each summer
Get your facts straight. This is the EU-way. It literally happened in Poland - a child got fined for a lemonade stand.
There are probably millions of child lemonade stands in the US. I think you must be referring to a story where one family was asked to take down theirs for some reason.
The reason that story was written and is memorable is because it's so whacky and unusual. I expect my kids to run lemonade stands with no complications:)
now asking people you invited for money to cover your expenses, certainly is not normal in most of the world
apples and oranges, you are mixing up two completely different things
and these people are not really inviting friends or people they know to their place, they just run some small stand from their own home to make money, completely different ocassion/event than having a (birthday) party