But when you think of them as a suite of APIs to define custom elements, that can coexist with your framework components, this delimma goes away.
I do think it's a-shame that modern frameworks don't better support shadow dom and local styles, and local events. Understandably I also get why they also don't see that as a good use of their time either, it adds complexity to the runtimes, they need to observe events at multiple root nodes.
Besides the cost of implementation and commitment to additional complexity, assuming that was a nonissue, with the exception of those otherwise legitimate reasons, there's no technical limitation that prevents React from supporting shadow roots for arbitrary custom element. I made a proof of concept of this myself seems to work quite nicely with a stylesheet loader hook (which ensured it was loaded once and there was a shared sheet between all instances of the same element), but I had to start observing events in each elements shadow root.