surely there is some published copy-paste set of sane defaults noobs can use to get started. at least i hope.
The thing most n00bs should be taught first is that emacs is self documenting. Hit c-h t (ctrl-h t) to get the tutorial. Hit c-h m to get documentation on the current mode you are in. Hit c-h k followed by a key (or key combo) to see which elisp function a key calls (even just normal letters call a function). Hit c-h f and then type a function name to see documentation on a function. Oh yeah, and hit q to exit any of those help documents and get back to the file you have open