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this datacenter appears to be 99.99 percent destroyed

There's usually more than one datacenter in an AZ.

I don't know if this is serious or if it's a joke.

Won’t get a red dot until they pour molten lava over it.

Solid lava just won't do.

It usually does not unless you happen to be the ribcage of an Aztec warrior

They wouldn't fake uptime for their shareholders, now would they?

Green Checkmark with a little “i” notice

and one of those footer codes to update the year next to the Copyright

0.99999

Lmao