Fertility is collapsing because motherhood is zero-status
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This sort of essay is farcical in ascribing economic stability as "status" - which of course has a negative connotation of seeking status, but suppose thats on track for a man writing an essay about this. Women( and men) need to work now because single incomes are not enough, and women biologically have larger burden in child rearing regardless. Economic incentives for child rearing are a joke, much like most policy that ends up more as a panacea than a solution - because none of it targets the other huge correlation we see, the growing level of inequality of wealth where the top n% is accumulating more and more. One need not look at number of lawsuits regarding women getting fired or laid off from work for needing/taking maternal leave. In the US you often need to be tenured for a year to qualify for it. These are all economic issues at it's core, and the tautology to it being status seeking is an damaging one in and of itsef.
As parenthood lies in deeper instincts, the underlining cause is their suppression.
- permitting child labor (as long as it's in a local business)
- ending sex education
- denying student loans to women
- permitting hiring discrimination
Not sure how well such measures would fly with the general public.
On one hand, I think that "making motherhood sexy" could be a very reasonable path to pursue: by at the same time providing a framework of support for mothers to increase their quality of life, and deploying some long-term marketing/ educational/ cultural campaign to frame motherhood (and parenthood) as an experience that is enriching and fulfilling, a fundamental step in the development of a person.
But on the other hand, I frankly don't think we need that many human beings in the future. The fact that our fertility rate is below replacement is not going to be a problem for long.
If overpopulation had been the problem instead, he would almost certainly have the same prescription.
It's almost like no one here has actually talked to women in their 20s and early 30s. While cost does play a role, almost every guy (and it's always guys) seems to ignore polling amongst women [0] that highlights this shift.
Women face the physical effects of childbirth and the subsequent recovery (if they recover), as well as stalled careers and the continued existence of patriarchical norms. Unsurprisingly, the younger generation of women are much less interested compared to men, because now they have a choice.
[0] - https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/reasons...
Gestating and expulsing a living human being is very difficult to physically and mentally recover from.
All we as guys need to do is put our shlong in. Women have to deal with the physical and mental externalities of that, so unsurprisingly a lot of young women are increasingly uninterested in having kids even if status played a role (which it doesn't as polling amongst women points out).
Status is only loosely related to what those people want. It just just one of many aspects.
The Fertility Rate of Every Country in the World - https://www.visualcapitalist.com/fertility-rate-of-world-pop... - May 17th, 2026
You are talking about grand ideas here, but I do not mean like that at all. I mean things like "being able to have time to read a book I like or being able to watch tv series". Or, "being able to leave it the relationship gets abusive". Or, "having a little thing of my own I created". Or like "not loosing all my interests and hobbies, being able to keep at least some of them". Or like, "having an hour of uninterrupted time".
I did not mentioned "coolest guy at the party". In relations to moms, we are talking about "not being completely isolated from society for prolonged time" or "being able to socialize often enough to not loose social skills" or "just going to a party once in a while". Or "being able to keep a semi interesting job". Or just "have a topic to talk about, so that the party does not consists of me sitting there having nothing to say feeling like I dont belong".
A lot of those are things that other people don't even see and have no way to judge. They are things you are taking as granted, but if you have kids, you are at risk of loosing those.
It truly sounds like you think it's a cakewalk and does not have long term side effects. This is why plenty of women just aren't interested in having kids no matter how much money or status is offered.
Women have to deal with Lochia, Perineal Soreness, Uterine Cramps, Pelvic Floor Weakness, significant Hormonal Shifts, Postpartum Depression, Hypertension, Diabetes (yes, pregnancy does induce diabetes), Hemorrhages, and other physical and mental experiences that can take a significant toll.
A generation or two ago, most women had kids because they didn't really have a choice. Now you are seeing what the true choice is amongst a growing proportion of women.
I described what experience of having one or two children is. All those are real effects on women and if they trust you a little, they openly talk about them.
> nor makes her powerless in case of abusive relationships.
Specifically, yes, it makes you a lot more vulnerable. You are now forever tied to the dad, you have harder time to keep good job (so more dependent financially) and yes, the abuse tend to escalate.
> in fact you have just described a woman with children as isolated, with reduced social skills, boring, helpless in the face of abuse.
Yes that is the worry. The social isolation is very real and painful. The reduction on social skills is observed phenomenon and something openly talked about. And more helplessness is one of the consequences of having children (especially if with wrong person).
> Can you name a socially positive trait you attribute to a mother that is dedicated to growing her children?
I did not said THEY are bad. I said these are impacts and consequences of being mother dedicated to growing her children. So, the positive trait is that they suffer the above for the sake of kids. You are the one implicitly blaming them for natural consequences of the situation.
> And otherwise, why would anyone take such a burden?
Fertility is going down.
I know plenty of mothers who have a better social life than mine. It's not like mothers are this rare and little known phenomenon. Of course everyone will happily talk about the upsides and downsides (and often more of the downsides) of their lives and choices, that's not the sign of some fundamental difficulty.
> I did not said THEY are bad.
Sorry, I didn't mean this. I mean that you don't seem to be able to mention anything desirable or even enviable in the condition of being a mother: only isolation, helplessness, toil and, as a positive quality, self-sacrifice. I'm not blaming mothers, I'm trying to make you aware that you haven't attributed anything desirable to motherhood, and this feels like a great illustration of the effect the original post is about. If the only things we think a woman achieved by becoming a mother are dependence, a boring life and social isolation, then it's not very surprising at all that fertility rate is plummeting.
Actually, the only reason you manage to come up with for a woman to have children is "fertility is going down"- which is an abstract, societal one. And who cares? Why would it be any individual's problem, why should a woman sacrifice herself because "fertility is going down"?
I described how experience of motherhood was and its real impact on people. I did experienced some of that, I heard real life women talk about these and I have seen sociological studies confirming the same. For example, being stay at home mom is one risk factor for alcoholism. Social isolation is super common.
I described it only because you kept trying to frame the above issues as "status seeking", being the coolest or in grand dreams I just cant relate to. But that is not what women decide on when they decide between having a child or having another child. These down to earth basic impacts are the reason to say "nope, not another one".
This sounds.... circular? The reason they didn't have children is they just didn't? This study is strange.
57% of all American women under 50 don't want children as the Pew Survey showed. I honestly don't understand why it's so hard for so many guys to not get that a lot of women are uninterested in having kids.
And this is a common sentiment globally as living standards rise.