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Not asking the customer because you're afraid they'll tell you they're upset is a good indicator that you should do it more, and fix the issues.

You can ask the customer enough times that unreasonable customers or surveys are averaged out.

A good question might be "why are you upset?"

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Isn’t it a running joke at this point that if you do what customers ask instead of focusing on the highest quality of service you get worse outcomes and the customer is still unhappy?

I thought that was more about correctly interpreting their asks, and not just actioning without consideration. If all your customers are saying your chair could use a cushion, it doesn't mean add a cushion, it means the chair is uncomfortable and you need to investigate why.

If all your customers are unhappy, then you probably aren't providing the high quality of service you think you're providing. After all, they're the judge, not you.

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