Comment by hiire | Hacker News Reader

Comment by hiire | Hacker News Reader

I truly hope something is done about this. I just came back from a nice short bath at the beach, where a family had their towels set a few meters away from mine. While I was laying there, relaxing, I saw two kids begging their dad to accompany them into the water, while their dad watched Reels and ignored them completely. Not even a response.

The kids just wanted to have a fun afternoon and play in the water, but the dad was just scrolling, didn't care at all about his surroundings, probably in the zombie state that these platforms let you in. The kids ended up running to the water on their own, the dad didn't react at all to the situation, zero response (to be fair, I'm not saying he should be alarmed or anything, just a "yeah, go ahead" would've been fine).

I may be exaggerating but I really think that these platforms are the tobacco of these decades, I used to be really addicted as a teen as well, now I'm 23 and left most of the platforms for good. Seeing people act like this, even in my group of friends, makes me feel quite weird about the whole situation.

To give a little historical perspective (as you are young at 23) dads have been ignoring their kids for some times in our society: before it was magazines or maybe books. Or TV at home. The cliché "don’t disturb your dad while he is reading his newspaper" is sadly anchored in a real asymmetry in terms of child care (fathers tend to care for kids on their own terms, mothers for all the rest) Said otherwise: me time for dads is usually sanctuarized

Man, that age means you're "conscious" life had smartphone/social media in it, according to this (1), if you're born 1999 or later (it's a report from 2012 and mentions teens 13-17), your teenage years probably involved smartphones/social media.

As someone older, I wonder what it must be like to grow up since childhood in a world where socializing is done a lot on Facebook/IG comment sections, as well as chasing likes for self-worth.

1) https://www.nielsen.com/insights/2012/young-adults-and-teens...

To me it felt no different from socialising nowadays as an adult.

Some weren’t on social networks at all, and thus missed out on some of the socialising. But also saved themselves from many cringey trends, FOMO, etc.

While some others were on social media 24/7 and basically acted like early influencers.

I'm 48 and lived both analog and digital.

I am so glad cameras on phones didn't exist when I was at school. I probably would have been expelled a dozen times over.

I get the sentiment you're going for and it seems very popular to shit on parents but as a dad myself with quite demanding kids I'd be more .. hesitant to make judgments like that. There literally are a million reasons I could behave like that. I could have just spend an entire week with them, ceaselessly catering to their every whim. You know this won't ever be enough. They'll yell at you all day any day to look at whatever they're doing if you're not putting in some boundaries.

I imagine this guy just told them a minute ago he needed some time off and what do you know, the next second they come and claim attention, and he is now stewing in his righteous anger-silence. You also don't know what's going on relationship-wise. In general I'd say mind your own business.

Same thing with the childless people complaining about kids having tablets in restaurants. Well, let me know, so next time I'll place two tired and severely hyperactive kids right next to you so you can enjoy their endless whining while I'll sit a few seats away shoving down some wine thank you very much.

That's a fair response, I get that kids can be overwhelming (hell, I'm pretty sure I'm not made to handle all that activity all the time), but at the same time, _you're at the beach_, the day is beautiful, the little waves look great, and even if you just wanna relax, the least you could do is tell your kids to go play in the water while you sunbathe or whatever.

My point, rather than a parent ignoring their kids and me being upset about it, is more of a "out of all things, you're gonna _watch reels_ at the beach?! Save that for home!". The very instant people get bored, there's an unlimited content machine to tickle our brains, when in reality we should learn that being bored is OK.

Still, while the point of raising kids being difficult is something I agree with you on, I also gotta say that I absolutely disagree about kids having tablets at restaurants, they probably shouldn't have them at all. But that's a whole different discussion, so I won't dive deeper here. All I can say is, you're right that I can't assume what the context was in that situation, and I shouldn't judge so harshly.

Its great to have these opinions and I agree with some of them. But to force these beliefs on others through laws is crossing a line you will regret at some point in your life. That's because it sets the precedent for others to force their beliefs on you in the future through governmental force. Including things you may morally disagree with.

> But to force these beliefs on others through laws is crossing a line you will regret at some point in your life.

Where did they argue for a policy solution?

Their original post said, "I truly hope something is done about this." My interpretation is that they mean some policy gets created as its in direct response to the article.

Yes, I truly hope they do something about addicting design patterns, since they can be dangerous and people don't understand what they're getting into when they download, say, Instagram, for the first time.

People should at the very least be warned about the dark patterns that lead to addiction, just like we warn people who smoke with those big labels in cigarette boxes, or how alcohol is regulated to prevent minors from drinking. Education is also given in these matters at schools and kids get to learn about their effects early on, which doesn't mean that they aren't going to smoke or drink, but at least they are aware of what those things do.

These patterns of unlimited scrollable mindless short videos that give us large hits of dopamine constantly should be researched, talked about and regulated as we can already see the effects they're having on people who are addicted to them. Hell, you can't even open TikTok without watching a video, for example. If a friend sent you a message with their username and you're planning on following them, the second you open the app there's a hook waiting for you.

So, while I do partially agree on the fact that governments usually don't do a good job at regulating online stuff, I still think that this sort of thing should be regulated somehow. By giving kids proper education about the topic, warning parents about the dangers of early life exposure, and forcing these companies to change the way these patterns work to make the user aware of what they're doing at all times (schedules, forced time/video limits, another format that doesn't involve unlimited content a swipe away...). There are so many different approaches, some are simply informative, others are more extreme. We'll see how this is handled

Others are already forcing their beliefs on everyone else. The current state of laws isn't natural or god-given, it was constructed by humans. Leaving things as they are is not a neutral stance.

100% agree, with the slight nuance that the EU would not care 1-bit if the dad was scrolling EU propaganda.

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