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McAfee appeared unresponsive, but when nurses undressed him, he said quite clearly, "please not in front of the press"

You couldn't write stuff this bizarre if you tried.

Next he is going to have someone send him a cake with a file baked into it.

My money is on some kind of Mission Impossible-style escape from the hospital using body doubles.

The hospital should probably make sure all the air-duct vents are screwed on tightly.

Unfortunately, his body double was arrested in Mexico on a fake North Korean passport. I'm not making this up.

Said file will be virus checked before opening, of course.

Am I the only one who thinks this sounds like the plot of an Arrested Development episode?

Maeby.