The default CBQN "make o3" on x86-64 also results in it only using SSE2 (utilizing function multiversioning is on the ever-infinite TODO list, though somewhat-low on it considering it's strictly-unnecessary in any specific situation; there's also AVX-512 usage on a branch, but mostly only AVX2 on mainline; and no arm SVE)
That all said, CBQN doesn't currently do any loop fusion, so being significantly-slower for sequences of operations over larger-than-cache arrays would kinda just be expected. BQN also just isn't particularly intended for database work anyway.
(didn't look much at the specific query impls, though "Pair" in utils.bqn is at least an overlong version of "Pair ← ⋈¨"; and some if not all of those Pairs would be better as "≍˘" to avoid nested arrays and ensuing pointer chasing; and, of course, if some of the columns are bools/int8/int16/int32, it'd be beneficial to store & load them as such instead of float64)