I quit Twitter for a month and it changed my thinking about mostly everything.
adambrault.com
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What I have come to feel is that my use of the internet is mostly driven by rage - and it seems to be similar for a lot of people. On HN I waste time trying to correct people who will never in a million years be swayed by a random internet comment.
On Twitter the problem for me is not the noise - it is being able to rant at any given time. Whenever something upsets me, I can immediately tweet about it, which will amplify the emotions. The better alternative is to simply not get upset about things so much.
Being logged out really helped a lot, because sometimes the urge to correct was really strong. Obviously it is the strongest when reading the wrongest opinions, which are also held by people the least likely to change their opinion. Double waste of time.
Edit: I don't just rant on my Twitter account, but ranting is the most wasteful use of my time, hence the emphasis.
I'm going through the opposite: I read HN for years, but never commented, mostly because I found if you wait long enough someone will eventually say what you were going to say anyway. But then I realised the reason I came to HN was for the quality of the comment threads, and thought why not contribute?
I'm still undecided as to whether this was the right decision.
And you just said what I wanted to say. :-)
It is rage. That's why I was hooked on an anonymous message board for the last 7 months (for the 3rd time). I quit last month, thankfully, but I did end up just posting more on other sites. I couldn't get away with being as direct on these sites, but it's still an outlet for negativity.
Incidentally, I find the best way to quit a site I'm hooked on is with a vacation (one in which I don't use the internet much, if at all. Try a remote island). I always come back with a new mindset; everything I was heavily into before the trip is suddenly perceived as "old." I just quit cold turkey and don't return at all, and it works. That's how I've quit every site I was hooked on in the past.
In practice, I just kept writing more and more of these "early drafts" and didn't write any blog articles for nearly a year.
-- Is this a net positive? Or Negativer?
Seems like it could go either way. HN inspiring you to write down an idea/develop it you otherwise would not have. And perhaps providing feedback/criticism (on a point-by-point-basis). Both of those are good things. OTOH, if the idea ends up only partly-developed, never fully, and you move forever on ("itch=scratched"), then perhaps it is worse, because in effect it keeps you from developing /any/ ideas fully. Did you write other blog posts (from other motivation)?
Commenting is for engagement, rather than broadcasting, no matter how much lurkerbaiting you tell yourself you're doing.
Have you not seen the xkcd cartoon "Duty Calls" before?
Painful experience after being regularly online since 1992 (!) has taught me that there is always someone wrong on the Internet. Sometimes there is even someone (but I am not referring to this thread, not at all) who has a top comment on a widely viewed thread on HN who is nonetheless wrong. I try not to worry about that too much. Surely in the "old days" before there was instantaneous international written communication available to the masses things were even worse. I have learned from quite a few of your posts (including this one to which I reply) and I have learned from a lot of people here on HN. I try not to invest too much worry or self-esteem into trying single-handedly to correct all the mistaken ideas in the world.
Slashdot used to be this way for me; I'm not sure what changed, but it saddens me now that it's mostly a flamefest between the Linux old-timers and all the Apple fanboys and Windows shills. That's one of the reasons I came to HN. Funny thing is, I was just about to post an angry response in another story thread, but was on the fence about it; I used to do that a lot on slashdot. I think I'll just go and close that tab now; it doesn't really add much.
I still value HN very much, and I read the comments because there is often useful information. It is just the way I interact with it that is the problem - certainly not HN that is to blame.
HN is actually almost the only web site I visit, apart from a local newspaper which I would like to quit (they are actively manipulative, as newspapers go).
> "Whenever you want information on the 'net, don't ask a question; just post a wrong answer."
I started commenting here about a year ago, and I've found it a lot better. People respect long-form comments and they are more generous with upvotes than downvotes. On Reddit, it seemed like there was always a lot of trolling, and stupid jokes are voted up a lot over meaningful content. Another plus around here is that after a couple days, people give up on their fight. There's no "mailbox" reminding you that you're having a flamewar somewhere.
I still do sometimes spend way too much time on a comment or a thread though. But it isn't yet anywhere near the kind of problem it was on Reddit. Which is particularly strange because I see most of the people here that were on Reddit and we talk about the same things. I think the community is the reason. On Reddit I was never tempted to bite my tongue. Here I do, and I think it makes me respect people here more than I ever did on Reddit--even though I know many of them are the same people.
* Personally I don't get enraged, just annoyed.
His explanation (summarizing crudely here) was that the patient had suffered a head injury in a car accident and that the accident must have disrupted some kind of neural channel responsible for that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you recognize someone close to you like your parents. When the patient saw his parents, he expected that feeling but did not get it. As a result, he could only logically conclude that his parents were imposters.
What that story made me realize was the extent to which our beliefs, even our logic, is driven by subtle feelings we may not even be aware of. I have become much more attuned to those warm fuzzy feelings (I think that was actually the term Ramachandran used) in myself.
I know what you mean when you say rage drives your social media consumption, but in my case I wouldn't call it rage so much as self-righteousness. I don't rage too often and when I do I almost immediately feel embarrassed. But I find righteousness a much more seductive warm fuzzy feeling. Much of the media has optimized their business around it. (Ever wonder why some people get so worked up year after year about the War on Christmas?) Social media is very good at delivering my fix and keeping me coming back for more.
That 'sober second thought' has saved me maybe an hour a month, if that, but I'm sure it's saved dozens of people a minute or two of mindless tripe each, and that's a pretty big win.
Ultimately snipping off the points where the rage is surfacing won't solve the problem. You might think that because you don't rant on twitter it is case closed, but in reality it's probably still there, looking for a way to get out.
Online tools allow so much of our traits to escape because they are instant, easy and somewhat detached if not outright anonymous. But if the underlying rage is still there, you'll find yourself with road rage, footpath rage, the list will go on. Until you can get zen about things, it will just continue.
The key is to re-center your life, focus on what you can achieve and change and release the things you can't. Many words have been written about this in many different contexts, but I prefer the Steven Covey (7 habits) definition of circle of influence, and circle of concern. If you let your circle of concern develop into a larger set than your circle of influence, then you'll be conflicted at your inability to change things, and become less effective as a result. And you'll find yourself raging at people with different political opinions, different life outlooks, people who are outside of your control.
I'm definitely not a religious person or one prone to quoting scripture, but I think there is a christian prayer which goes along the lines of 'grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, and the ability to change the things I can, and the wisdown to tell the difference'. OR something like that. I think its in the AA steps.
I would be surprised if all major religions don't have something along the same lines.
TLDR/ chill out more, and let things slide.
Not that I am encouraging you to start raging, or anything.
> I waste time trying to correct people who will never in a million years be swayed by a random internet comment.
The ability of strangers to broadcast opinion at each other is one of the largest changes in communications history. Society is structured by how we communicate with each other. Without writing we wouldn't have had command economies, without a printing press, we wouldn't have democracy* and without money we wouldn't have a free-market. How we communicate with each other literally builds our society. In a thousand years they will look back at this time as one of the fundamental turning points in human history.
Perhaps your one comment doesn't make a difference. But when it is voted up and it is repeated by others, it does. It creates a social feedback mechanism for creating morals and ideas and ultimately laws. It changes who we are as a society.
Being able to correct some random strangers wrongness on the internet is one of the most important fundamental inventions in the whole of human history.
Having said that, I totally agree with the article posted. It is not a process that engenders inner peace.
* Ancient Athens used theater to the same effect.
Interesting. I can empathize - I wonder if there is a natural progression of Internet participation, driven by age and personality.
Stage 1: wide-eyed wonder, and naivety. Ability to be impressed by the most mundane of cat pictures.
Stage 2: a misguided effort to set the world right by correcting people on the Internet one at a time. AKA "Why are there so many idiots online". AKA XKCD's "I can't go to sleep, someone is wrong on the Internet!" strip.
Stage 3: jadedness, cynicism. Correcting people takes too much effort, so mostly snide complaints and bitter comments.
Stage 4: disengagement. What's the point anymore.
Stage 5: enlightenment. Realizing that being negative about everything isn't all that great. Accepting that Internet comments are, on average, what they are. Engaging for specific purposes only: obtain information, develop an idea, practice writing, or - heaven forbid - just to be helpful.
Stage 6: ???
Of course, it's possible most people are just permanently stuck on one stage or another.
This, a million times. I've blocked a few websites (e.g. Reddit) because I kept being drawn into pointless comments and debates.
Encouraging feedback is a useful exercise.
You're bang on re: amplification, though. People RAGE on twitter/facebook/etc because they seek validation and affirmation of their feelings, which is a natural human response. The issue is that unlike a conversation, social media echo-chambers can amplify a tiny comment into a eight week shit-slinging match involving thousands of people.
Twitter is Toxic - above and beyond Facebook. The 140 character limit forces people to be succinct to the point of bluntness, and hilarity frequently ensues.
Otherwise what's the whole point of "social media" if all you are doing is stroking your own ego and not learning any thing?
Can anybody explain me what's that that I don't understand?
* Serendipity of content. I follow a stack of interesting folk. They tweet about interesting stuff. If I have some downtime that I want to fill with something interesting to read I can find something (NOTE: this does not mean I go to twitter every time I have a quiet time. I like quiet time. I have books and shit too ;-)
* Serendipity of people. I've met people in RL via twitter. Folk have come up to me at conferences and events and said "Hi - I follow you on twitter". I've done the reverse. It's been a great ice breaker in meeting new people. For me Facebook is something for the people I already know. Twitter is something that has let me meet new people.
* It's got me work. I talk about the stuff I'm passionate about. People see that passion and start a conversation.
* You can fit a surprising amount into 140 characters. In fact the discipline of getting useful info into 140 characters is a great one to acquire. It's a crash course in headline/lede writing.
* It's a place to talk to some of my friends. I live in a fairly rural area of the UK at the moment. A bunch of my "real" friends are not local. The ones who are not on facebook, or email, tend to be on twitter.
[Edit: Oh yes. One more. Access to smart people. For example a couple of weeks back I couldn't remember the term "Reification". Took my twitter followers about ten minutes to go from my dumb "What's that word for things that aren't things (e.g. the Economy)" to "Reification Fallacy" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reification_(fallacy) which was what I was trying to remember]
I also tried to see some random samples of the tweets from the people you follow. My impression: most of them have the form:
"@somebody: yeah right" "@somebodyelse: no, I don't" "mumble mumble sil.ly/asdasdew" etc.
I know, such "substantial" messages are not only twitter-specific. I believe you that you enjoy the whole experience. I just don't understand what's in there for me, from the people like you who like it I get the impression that I'm missing something and it frustrates me still that I can't "get" what that is. Thanks.
Ha! No. Not even remotely. Neither do I read every HN comment or every HN post.
I don't drink the river. I dip in a cup occasionally.
I do read anything that's directed at me as an individual.
I have a couple of twitter lists that friends are on that I pay a little bit more attention to (twitter lists are ways of grouping people in twitter - think Google Circles with an even worse UX ;-).
I have a computationally generated twitter list of folk I've 'talked' to recently (via http://conversationlist.com/).
I have a couple of topic-specific lists I glance a weather eye over every day or so to see if anything interesting pops up.
Otherwise it's just serendipitous access when I feel the need for brain popcorn.
For example earlier this evening I came across http://www.linuxpromagazine.com/Online/Blogs/Off-the-Beat-Br... via a retweet from somebody I follow. Which interested me.
If I go look now at 23:42..... and by 23:43 I'm reading about Papa Mau - robot that holds the world record for distance traveled by an autonomous vehicle on land or in the sea http://www.fastcoexist.com/1681003/this-surfboard-sized-robo... via this tweet https://twitter.com/DanAsadorian/status/276360715865038849 retweeted by somebody I follow.
I do not sit on twitter 24/7 reading every tweet that rolls past. That way lies madness (for the way I use twitter anyway ;-)
That someone could take the above paragraph and argue that had I used fewer words I would have "saved [them] time" is baffling to me. Then again I still associate the quality of tweets with the kind of stuff we used to (and still do) leave as our IM client status. Things that reflect the kind of day you're having or why you're not at the computer; now you take your computer with you so you can read about and set your status before, during, and after everything.
That's not been my experience of Twitter, but then I only follow 32 accounts (most of which are companies) and I've never felt like I missed out by not reading their tweets.
Leaving Twitter sounds easy and fun too.
When I first started with Friendster I thought it was fun. Facebook seemed fun too. Until the company got creepy and I realized centralized social media companies are locked in an arms race to get as much of your personal data as they could with as little accountability as they can get away with.
So I left to avoid doing business with creepy companies.
But I found life was better without them. Mine anyway.
I hold out hope for Diaspora as non-centralized so you own your data, but I'm not sure how much social media helps my life.
I miss being able to easily keep in touch with old friends. People you rarely see anymore in real life. I think social media is perfect for that. I have often contemplated getting a Facebook account for that.
The problem is, if I am on Facebook than all my usual friends and family will want to add me ad well. People I often see and who's updates I don't want to read at all because I actually talk to them in real life on a regular basis. But I am afraid they're going to get offended if I decline their invites. That's what's stopping me from getting an account.
Well, that an the constant stream of security and privacy WTFs that always make me happy I don't have an account.
But that's just a network effect - if those listings were elsewhere, I wouldn't need to return. Someone really needs to make an events app where identity is tied to Twitter / AppDotNet / Email instead. And while you're at it, connect to my Last.FM & Rdio so you can suggest/predict events for me based on my musical taste as well as my interests & friends network.
I was actually kind of disappointed given how much everyone talks about how we're "addicted" to social media.
How odd. It must be difficult for you to write catchy blog headlines.
In a sense, you're renting out your head for distributed computing without charging anything. You're like Folding@Home for your friends' lives.
Helping your friend compute that infinite loop doesn't help anyone.
We all subsidize each other in different ways with different currencies.
If you want to read about what I've learned about the software business, leadership, and team-building, follow me on Twitter.
Seriously, this is good general advice. We should all try to take breaks from our digital addictions (you know you have them). I highly recommend camping. Total disconnection and reconnection to nature all at once!
For example, I decided to go on a "politics detox" the week before the Republican primary and unfollowed all but one political reporter and unsubbed from all but one political blog. I didn't miss the content at all, and I daresay I was a happier person for it.
Anyway, my point is, you don't necessarily have to quit the whole platform, sometimes all you need to do is manage your use of it. Know yourself and know your limits, then adjust accordingly. It seems to me like a lot of people just accept the firehose of input into their lives without considering the impact it will have on them. I always wonder how people who follow hundreds of other accounts keep up with it (well, I guess they're using something like TweetDeck to focus on the accounts they care about most). Interestingly, the number of accounts I follow on Twitter tends to hover around Dunbar's Number.
My rule of thumb is, if we interact or you're in my phone book, we stay connected. If not, or you simply generate noise that doesn't help me utilize the platform for my specific needs, then you're removed/filtered.
When Facebook isn't used as a public ledger of who you're friends with, there's freedom to use it for productive purposes rather than e-stalking.
Edit: nevermind, I think my comment is almost completely offtopic.
Earlier this year, I remember myself commenting to someone (partially because of his age, I guess) that I was pretty surprised that he didn't have Facebook.
A few months later, I found that I was slowly blocking everyone's (read: "friends") posts from showing up on the home page, and only using Facebook as basically a feed to keep up with products and businesses. I made the profile as private as I could (unfortunately the bulk Greasemonkey scrips I found for this were buggy, so i did most of it by hand...).
It was a pain, because of Facebook's stupid phone authentication thing, but I managed to set up basically a fake account for linkage and following companies. In this way, I haven't stopped using Facebook. But I don't use it how it's "intended" to be used, and I can sign up for whatever bogus app I want without worrying about my privacy being leaked. It has been fantastic, and I haven't looked back, nor do I want to.
What stood out in the article is what he said about being oversensitive. I think social networking is a deathtrap for those who have problems like that - myself being one of them. There are some webcomic artists that I follow who I've seen go down a pretty dangerous path getting overly involved in Twitter - petty comments and stuff made against them, things like that. I see a lot of people spiraling in self destructive behavior using social networks as a medium, and it is so healthy and wonderful for people with those tendencies to stop using them.
Another side effect is that it really showed me who my true friends were. I figured that if people "couldn't" communicate with me if I left Facebook (apparently texting or emailing is too "old school"), they weren't worth having as friends. It's really funny that most people I talk to say, "Oh well, you know, I wouldn't be on it, but there are these people that I, like, can't contact any other way." Because apparently these people just have one big Facebook app, with no phone or email attached. Right.
My web presence now is basically nothing, and it's a huge sigh of relief. My only complaint is that Facebook has its claws stuck into everything, and making a new account was a real pain. I just marked my old Twitter account private, but will probably have to migrate to a new account at some point in order to use @ replies to clarify things (businesses etc. that I'm following, no personal things). There really needs to be a better way to do this.
If I am not planning on using one or two hours, I read most social sites (subreddits, HN, blogs, ...) using an RSS (it's not dead!) reader. Web sites are built with some features that make the reader spend more time on a site. I think this is a fact people will get sooner or later.
Being on a program that let's you skim efficiently through articles makes you an efficient news consumer. Moreover, I can save articles for later, without using my already too-much packed bookmark section on my browser.
As for twitter, I have never used it too much for social purposes. It helps me reach more people that might be interested in my product (so, yes, another one of these shouting voices there).
Not that my story would be relevant, or had the number of followers the author has, but going back to using an RSS reader has improved how I use my free time reading news.
In fact I deliberately counter that by diluting my stream with lots of people of minor interest, or people writing in languages I don't know, so that the timeline is big and noisy and nobody's voice comes off as being particularly loud(if they are outrageously spammy I do tend to drop them though). Over 1000 followed now.
Yes, there's a subset that I care more about, but I don't try to lock it down. The point is that it goes both ways; I will use Twitter to say relatively less interesting/valuable things if I perceive it as a smaller thing than it is.
I had every social media property you could imagine. Then, I realized a large portion of my day was spent following, commenting and chasing the latest fad. I decided to completely unplug for about six months.
I still have facebook and twitter. Facebook for my high school buddies and Twitter just for posting my random thoughts. I only check them once a day and post maybe a few times a week. It helps to keep a low dosage approach so when you need to step away, you can do it without thinking you're missing something.
I've always liked the idea of having to post something worthwhile at HN. It takes out a lot of the cruft you have to sift through and makes it easier to actually enjoy the conversations and insights I get here.
I dont want them to remember a man who was more interested in the rectangle in my hand than I was in them. I want them to remember me being fully engaged with them, and being there for them. Twitter/FB/HN arent a problem unless you let them interfere with your life. If you need to take a month off to get that sort of perspective, great. If not then everything in moderation.
As an older guy who's seen it all happen, I see zombies walking down the hall, street, mall with their electronic sedatives/stimulants and I see no difference from any stoner.
I counsel - drop electronic instant-communications devices entirely from your life - not for a month - for life. What you get is your humanity back.
It dawned on me one day that my real friends are far more interesting and polite.
I was tired of reading people's complaints and general drivel.
I was tired of taking time to respond to people and getting no interaction.
I was tired of making jokes that fell flat. Sometimes with responses like "I don't even know what that means". I think the key being that people don't know you, or your personality, and can't see your face, so they don't get your humour. They simply aren't your friends.
In summary, it is a frustrating tedious time sink.
I did this exact thing with reddit recently. I'd been on reddit almost since the first day it existed, and I was kind of addicted. Woke up one morning and went "you know, I could just delete my account." Before I gave myself time to think about it, it was done.
Generally I'd just ignore a post like this, but they seem to be increasing in frequency.
At night, all these things simmer down. I couldn't distract myself with the outside world even if I wanted to.
I had that same feeling when I stopped watching TV and then later, when I switched to GNU/Linux. Both felt like very much like stepping off a treadmill for me.
But in fact, no, thanks, Facebook is quite enough for now, I guess.
main offender: Steve Klabnik, he posts interesting stuff that I'd like to check on, and that's the reason I didn't unfollow him, but it's way too much still
Twitter just feels like really, really noisy room...