You're ignoring shaping effects though. Nobody prefers living in a deeply divided society. Instead, filter bubbles help bad actors (including foreign adversaries, disgruntled losers, political opportunist, and garden-variety edgelords) accelerate fractionalization. Moreover, social media deliberately elevates incendiary content because outage drives engagement.

These social media sites could be designed for consensus-building and we would see very different outcomes for society.

It's not hypocritical to want the democracy that works instead of the one that self-disintegrates.