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You're being sarcastic, but I would like a technical explanation of why this would not work.

Delta P

How about _Space_ Flexseal?

Delta P is one atmosphere or less, like 15 PSI. Lots of stuff can handle 15 PSI.

Now, will it immediately off-gas and embrittle on exposure to vacuum? Different question.

Yeah, that’s like being 33ft under water. Not extreme by any means.