That's why there's a disconnect when you go from math for engineers to the stuff above it. It feels less useful and very different
If you are interested, perhaps check out 3Blue1Brown on youtube, they manage to show some of the (very) real beauty in mathematics!
Edit: Also, theoretical computer science is a subset of mathematics, and considering where we are on the internet, I get the feeling you like computer science.
If you don’t believe me, crack open a text on something like graph theory (that’s pretty accessible, and if you’re a programmer, you’re familiar with graphs) and read through some proofs. Or better yet, try to prove some theorems yourself. No amount of rote memorization of formulas or rules will replace the creativity needed to write these proofs. Doubly so for discovering the facts in the first place.