Hacker News Reader

Comment by Shenglong | Hacker News Reader

Your last point is actually quite alarming: I have often been told that in order to be successful, I should surround myself with people much smarter than I am. But, when I see all these Facebook notices and FREE $500 COSTCO GIFT CARD shares, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I have thus failed in life.

View on HN

I get some of the weirdest Facebook posts from folks who I know are very smart--like professional musicians and Ph.D. researchers. They're very accomplished in their fields, but just haven't spend enough time online to develop "street smarts" about these things like we have.

The same is true for me, I don't use FB but I've seen over the shoulder of it being used by people who would be on my friends list should I use it.

These are often pretty smart people but they seem to mainly use FB for cat memes , pictures of food and the sort of "nerd humour" you might find on reddit.

"These are often pretty smart people but they seem to mainly use FB for cat memes , pictures of food and the sort of "nerd humour" you might find on reddit."

FB does not do very well for other purposes.

It's... complicated.

Just remember that you don't have to actually use Facebook. You merely need Facebook.

In other words, Facebook is your social network; it represents your circle of power. The more points you have on the circle, the more directions you can pivot in life.

For example, often times the people who are the least capable can still be an advantage to you; they will be loyal to you, and they will help you when you have no other options.

But, on the other hand -- you don't have to spend your time on Facebook. In other words, it's best to keep our identities as small as possible, so therefore it's a benefit to avoid making Facebook a part of our identity.

Is it necessary for friends to "be an advantage" to you besides just being your friends? When you spend a lot of time in places like HN, you're at risk of succumbing to some kind of extremist lifestyle where you have to rationalize even who your friends are or use dumbbells while you're brushing your teeth because it saves time. This is not necessary.

I have friends from way back that can't relate to what I'm doing and will probably never "help" me in any way. However, when I go back home, I greatly enjoy spending time with them and for me that enough.

In my eyes, that's also a kind of help.

Also, it is good for open-mindedness when not all people we hang out with come from the same group.

Is it necessary for friends to "be an advantage" to you besides just being your friends?

No, not at at all. I just have no friends from my early days. (Ruthlessly bullied throughout school. Midwest children had no tolerance for programming geeks circa 2000.)

One of the primary ways people can find "you specifically" is through Facebook, and the other way is through LinkedIn. That's all I meant by "you need Facebook".

Recruiters, for example. I've gotten way more random LinkedIn offers that have led to jobs than I ever would've guessed. (~7 offers, 2 jobs. But of course the "offers" are just "offers to interview"; still, that's something.)

That's the main reason I quit facebook. It made me think badly of people that I had fond memories of.

I'm up voting this because I feel similar. However, I'm not sure if I feel Facebook is the main issue at play.

It really is: before facebook, I wasn't exposed to every passing fancy or idea that these people had.

Within the contexts where I met and got to know these people, they are great. In angry political comments, or wallspam trying to get something or other banned, they are not. Facebook forced me to acknowledge that I like a bit of formality and artifice in my relationships with most people. I think that most people are more attractive with their clothes on.

I can't tell how serious you are, but if you're going to call a friend stupid just because he falls for online "scams" from time to time I don't think I would want to be friends with you.

That's pretty damn quick to judge. You have more experience with tech -- get over yourself. I'm sure they know things that you don't.

"Like if you support this child with cancer, keep scrolling if you want everyone them to die".

JUST EFF THE EFF OFF.

That's an instant 'unfriend' for me.

> Like if you support this child with cancer, keep scrolling if you want everyone them to die

Do any children still have cancer? I'm scrolling as fast as can!

Reply on news.ycombinator.com