Judson's Last Ride | Hacker News Reader

Judson's Last Ride

realclearpolitics.com

142 pointsNaOH10 comments

I am glad that I’ve read your story, and I’m glad that the Internet, for all its faults, is still a place to share stories of our lives with each other.

WOW! That was a very heavy read, not what I expected from HN, but I am grateful to have read it. As a parent of a child with autism, who also rides the bus to school, and with many other parallels to the author's story, it was a difficult read. We're 8 years away from the "last day on the bus"; it certainly made me ponder about the situation.

I think a lot about my son's future and all the missed opportunities, but the author put some of this in a different perspective that has changed my perspective slightly. But I do think my son knows what he's missing out on when observing others his age and watching TV.

Judson sounds a lot like Henry, my twin brother, in terms of his abilities and profound autism. Growing up I learned to say that Henry is “autistic retarded” but I am sure that’s out of date. Anyway, God bless Judson, his family, and especially his caretakers and teachers. It is a special form of selflessness required to help the severely disabled and I am forever in awe and forever grateful to anyone who does so.

I think in the U.S it would be he has autism and is learning disabled, in at least some non-English speaking countries it is the still usual to say whatever is that country's form of “autistic retarded”.

Interesting. Learned something about HN tonight.

What did you learn?

Parents of special needs kids are amazing. I have a very good friend who married a really nice girl, their only child was born with Down’s syndrome. They are incredible parents, and they are an incredible family. Their son brings many challenges, but they are happy as they meet every situation. Compared to my own life, I would say my friends life is different. Different joys, different problems. God bless all these families. Being around them is a blessing to you.

I’m not sure how to say this, so please know that I’m not trying to downplay the experiences you’ve had or the strength of the people involved:

I don’t think it’s fair to characterize parents of special needs kids that way. I guarantee they are not happy as they meet every challenge, and I worry that claiming that they are could discourage people from looking for ways to help. I know you’re sharing a story about personal friends, and I absolutely believe that they are wonderful people. At the same time I’m reminded of when people referred to retail employees as “heroes” during Covid. Many people seemed to hide behind that sentiment so they could stomach forcing those employees to work in unsafe conditions. Most of those employees would absolutely not have been there if they could afford not to.

I’m not trying to judge you. It’s important to acknowledge and respect the strength that people bring to tough situations. I also think it’s important to spend the bulk of our effort on helping and preventing tough situations where we can. We just be very careful about implying that those people have some innate, uncommon strength. In reality many of them are in a tough spot and barely getting by, but putting on a brave face. Treating them as fundamentally better people can make them feel like failures when they eventually need help or are at their limit.

I’m realizing now that I’m probably projecting some personal baggage here, but I hope my intended message is in that rant somewhere.

Are you close ( I mean really close. Often share meals close ) to any families that have special needs kids?

Just curious.

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https://refractor.io/adhd-autism/fecal-transplants-for-autis...

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