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I agree with the sentiment, but this is not something I can send my colleagues.

You can be annoyed and right, and still avoid being crass.

Perhaps this falls into "how to have hard conversations" bucket?

If I told my coworker that his or her "brain is a gizmo" and to "not reproduce" I would expect to be frog marched out the door a few minutes later.

"Your brain is a gizmo" doesn't sound very harsh to me, but "please don't reproduce" would be a problem in any reasonable workplace.