The companies that create and train the LLMs are the shameless thieves

LLMs, like Frankenstein's Monster, are blameless. They did not ask to be created nor did they participate in their own creation. Like Frankenstein stole the bodies of the dead and stitched them into a new creation so LLMs were assembled from the remainder of human ingenuity taken under cover and without compensation.

load up transmission with localhost control, then ask claude to pull a torrent file from tpb, and queue it up on the download client — i'd be surprised if you don't get an immediate refusal, with the risk of an account lock

Poppycock. Copyright infringement at worst, and probably not even to that level for most stuff.