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Comment by lkey | Hacker News Reader

Staying with your rapist husband/boyfriend is the norm. He might beg for forgiveness and say he won't do it again. He might say he didn't understand you when you said no. He might threaten to kill you if you open your mouth one more time. He might do all of those in the same five minute span.

Almost every women I am close to has been raped or assaulted.

What part of this do you specifically not understand?

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People have different abilities. It’s often hard for people to not understand why something that’s natural to them isn’t natural to others. In some lights, humans are very similar; in other lights they can be wildly different.

I have cut multiple toxic people out of my life, even very close relationships and family, and it was easy as farting for me. It’s alien to me to not be able to do that. However it’s easy to recognize different people have different capacities in this regard.

Sometimes you can't cut people out of your life because your life depends on them.

A lot of people walk away from physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive relationships. I know many.

Reading the question generously, the person is asking why someone stays instead of leaves. Two of your 3 examples are emotional manipulation (big red flag, run away) and the last one is a threat to your life (big, big red flag, run away).

I think it is reasonable for someone to not understand why a person would choose to stay in that situation.

Of course, life is more nuanced than that, and the rash of pro athletes lately that have been exonerated from these accusations further muddies the waters.

You don't think that the CEO of Google might have some resources at his disposable to manipulate or threaten someone?

They might, but that isn't what they are addressing.

Do you really think the last sentence was necessary? It's a good answer otherwise.

it's a great last line; when trying to explain something to someone it behooves someone to ask a follow-up so they can clarify anything not yet answered.

Thanks for the tip! I will immediately try this line in my next professional e-mail. I am sure they will appreciate my courtesy.

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