Ask HN: Has anyone here ever rebuilt themselves in their late 30s? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Has anyone here ever rebuilt themselves in their late 30s?

4 pointsbuildresiliency2 comments

I had a kid recently, and I realized that I'm not a very mentally strong/resilient person. I mean, in some ways I am and have built up a life I love, but I want to do more and be more, and know that I lack discipline.

Having a kid is extremely difficult, and so mentally taxing, so I find myself inadvertently shying away from some of the work and lean more and more on my wife/in-laws. I am nowhere near absent, but I find myself to be a complainer when it comes to this stuff and feel that I shouldn't be this way. I need to be stronger.

I've always wanted to build a company/be a founder. I know I would be happier because I do my best work when I'm working on my own projects. I have very big dreams, and yet I always lean towards the easy path in the evenings after my 9-5 of slipping back to cooking, watching TV and telling myself tomorrow will be a new day.

I've been doing this for a decade now and I've gotten nowhere aside from a fairly decent career. I really want to blow myself up, in a way. I know where I'm mentally weak, but I don't know where to begin. I'm sure a lot of the answer revolves around small steps, but another part of me wonders whether it's even possible, because I've spent the best part of my life leaning towards the generally easy way out of most of what I do and following the dopamine driven lifestyle. The muscle memory is so strong.

Yes, I'm 70 and continue to reinvent myself. After high school, I blew up my undergraduate studies because my head wasn't in the game. I took jobs in my 20s that addressed what I thought of as social weaknesses. By my late 20s, through aggressive self study and a couple of college classes, I switched careers and entered the software development world. Again, a lot of time spent on aggressive self study to be competitive with established developers. Realizing in my mid-30s that my lousy undergraduate showing was holding me back, I re-entered school and subsequently completed two masters degrees, an MS and an MBA. The MBA granted me credibility with senior management and propped up my management career. I did that for a few years until I and friend of mine started a consulting/development business, which we did for about 8 years. At that time I was offered a job with a Fortune 500 company that was too good to pass up. Following a series of takeovers, my job morphed repeatedly until, at age 65, the last company bought me out. Now, at 70, I've been accepted as a freshman at a major university to study things for fun, not career prospects. The bottom line, you can always reinvent yourself. It's not always easy, e.g., going back to college while working 50-60 hours per week, but it can be done. All it takes is planning, sacrifice, prioritization, and deferred gratification. In the end, it can be transformative. But, it will always be a hard journey.

I hate to be that guy, but you can just choose to do these things. Learn to set SMART goals. Then set just one, so there's no excuses around priorities. Obviously, choose well. Make that goal your life.

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