Dine elsewhere if you’d like, but I’d ask if you find your point ironic considering the core argument in the post. If there is more concrete feedback that you have about the voice or style I’ll take it.
Regarding the style, no concrete feedback I'm afraid, other than the repetition of "upstream" sounding like the LLM tic of the day. Other than that, I just got that LLM vibe from the writing, and, as above, perhaps I wasn't the only one. Some discussion here of some LLM tropes: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47291513 - which may apply.