I don't know why your sibling comment is getting downvoted to hell, I thought it was an interesting read.
I vouched for the sibling comment, which seemed innocuous and contained (I felt) the most interesting part.
Regarding the style, no concrete feedback I'm afraid, other than the repetition of "upstream" sounding like the LLM tic of the day. Other than that, I just got that LLM vibe from the writing, and, as above, perhaps I wasn't the only one. Some discussion here of some LLM tropes: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47291513 - which may apply.