Remind HN: Today is Mother's Day, call your moms
And for any mothers here, happy Mother's Day.
Please go do it on my behalf, while it’s possible.
So, yeah. Call while you can.
If you need someone to talk to I’m here.
username 2 hours ago [dead] | parent
Take care everyone, and give your mother a hug if you can.
I wasted time on the computer instead to get "work" done.
Don't be like me.
It pains me that she never got to meet her grand kids, and vice versa.
Parents are meant to be immortal, dammit.
It’s the 31st of May
Better luck next year... I guess?
Now I think it's really significant and important to have an official day dedicated to recognize all the moms out there.
Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. And all the guys that made them moms :)
P. J. O'Rourke
I take his quote to mean that motherhood is more difficult than fatherhood, especially back in the time he was active. The quote should, I feel, not be observed as a factual statement, but rather in the vein of his politically based humor. Largely, it was a simpler time.
Are moms better than non moms - by and large yes.
I am sorry about what your life's story must have been like. Luckily I can't relate.
How do you define "moving forward"? Just having more people?
What a strange person you seem to be to think that moms are better than non moms simply because they are moms. You seem to have a child's view of the world
I've already dealt with the fact that I will not get my mom back.
(I personally think it's okay to be amused, even if it's thanks to dead people. I don't think any mother would really mind too much.)
Maybe that doesn’t matter, but it’s nice to have on a weekend.
Maybe I’m missing what you mean?
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day#Dates_around_th...
Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you:
1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson.
2. https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+raisedbynarciss...
Traumatised children unite!
It is a little frustrating how those without this perspective react with shock when they discover that some of us have gone no contact with one of our parents. I was chatting to some muslim street preacher the other day and he told me that respect for your parents was a pillar of the faith, so that and my inability to grow a beard means I could never pick the Islam.
<3 <3 <3
Mother’s Day is different from country to country (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day)
8 March was an entirely different animal...
My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents.
March 8th is for the partners, mother's day is for the wives :)
Just kidding but couldn't resist.
Here[0] is a list of many holidays that are ignored more than international women’s day.
Happy International Day of Plant Health to you!
Oh don’t even get me started! Labor Day was specifically set for a different day than May 1st to discourage solidarity with international labor movements. Wouldn’t want people to feel a camaraderie with the communists and socialists abroad
Gonna go help my mom again in massaging her legs, Okay shes asking me to help now, bye!
Next year can you please post a day earlier?
:-)
The days of a young Silicon Valley are long gone.
Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds.
Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt.
--
Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for.
Kids don't owe their parents anything.
Each person has their own situation so it isn't my place to give specific advice, but each and everyone should pause for a moment on this day, be thankful that they are alive, and consider to do the right thing that they wouldn't regret if they don't do it. Even if you wouldn't call your parents.
I think owing something should be contractual - they consent to owe something in a fair exchange.
A person does not consent to being born.
If someone treats you properly (raises you at least somewhat decently), you don't owe them anything, but you should feel an obligation to thank that person whether it's by saying thank you, or helping them later in their life when they need help.
My wife's dad ran away when she was fifteen (and with two considerably younger siblings), without any attempt to contact them or pay child support. He's a douche, and I do not blame my wife at all for having no desire to take care of him when he's old.
Her mom is very cool, and took care of four kids on a low income while still being active in all their lives. My wife will probably take care of her if she's unable to take care of herself.
People like to act that if you share DNA with people you have to grovel to them. I think that's dumb.
Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no.
It's pedantic but there's a subtle difference. Doing something for someone because you're grateful for them is fine. I like my parents, I might take care of them when they get older, but I'm doing that because I like them.
> Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no.
Ironically, I think this is too generic. What if your parents were physically or sexually abusive? This isn't hypothetical, there are millions of children that live that reality. Are they "bad kids" because they don't want to help them when they're older?
My main argument is really that in the West, we are going too far away from the grateful mentality and it's scary and even absurd to see the number of parents that die alone (I'm talking about good parents), I find it sad and immoral in many scenarios.
I use the word owe because it's a moral code thing, the same way as I owe my wife & children lifetime promises and support (but not obligated right?), it's not something really negotiable in my head and I don't really intend to change it.
I vow the same thing for my own children and I hope I'll do genuinely a good job, enough for them to feel that they owe me the support when I'm old. Think about the gift you do to a loving mother to let her die surrounded with her own kids, nothing is more important in life than this in the end, as you get older, no career or money matters, probably only family does (again, talking only about good parents, shitty ones aren't included in this kind of discussion)
I guess I just get a little annoyed that people act like you are supposed to. I didn't choose to be born, and as far as I am aware neither did the other eight billion on this planet. The parents were the ones who brought the kids into the world. The kids are their responsibility, not the other way around.
You clearly didn't read properly. It's the mom the one who doesn't care about her child. Calling her isn't going to change anything.
Calling might not change anything, but that doesn't mean that change couldn't happen another way.
I will not call her. It benefits neither of us.
Child marriage is an example, very few will argue that it doesn't make them bad parents for selling their children, but it's completely alright in many cultures, nope, garbage culture.
And what you say about every parents in Asia is utter-nonsense btw and it's not the reality, you clearly don't understand a word of what you are writing.
Just say that’s the way you want the world to be, not some unassailable universal truth.
Fwiw I am not a moral subjectivist, but this is HN; if we're pretending cultures are relatively equal in value and empiricism is the expected outlook, then we need to acknowledge pedophilia is not historically reviled.
Edit: serves me right for phone posting; I have you muted on the desktop with an extension, seemingly for good reason
Twelve, actually. This was a completely normal opinion at the time, and also the law. You seem uninterested in engaging in any form of discussion, so that will be all from me.
People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I do like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option.
Kids owe their parents nothing. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right".
People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit.