> Go to conferences. ... Find conferences that relate to it and attend... later, speak at said conferences.
Well, I'm screwed. I can barely speak in private or deal with people.
Perhaps someone else can use your advice, though.
Well, I'm screwed. I can barely speak in private or deal with people.
Perhaps someone else can use your advice, though.
You grow by constantly pushing yourself just barely outside of your comfort zone. No anxiety or panic needed, just a little tiny dose of discomfort.
Start now, with the smallest improvement you could possibly make. Then continue to make one small improvement every day.
Are you a complete shut in? Make it your goal to spend just 1 minute outside in public. If 1 minute is too much, then make it 10 seconds. Do it again tomorrow, and add just a little more time. Did you feel a bit uncomfortable? Good. If not, push yourself just a little more.
Are you good with being outside? Make eye contact with one person for 1 second. Tomorrow, make eye contact with two people. Or try to hold eye contact for 2 seconds.
Good with eye contact? Let's get talking.
Go to the grocery store and use the human checkout line instead of the self-checkout. Then the next day, make it your goal to say one sentence to the checkout person beyond the usual pleasantries. A comment about the weather will be just fine. Once you're good with talking about the weather, ask the checker if they have big exciting plans for this evening/the weekend/Christmas/whatever.
Just take action every day. ACTION. EVERY. DAY.
If you feel like you're not making process fast enough, or if you slip up one day and stay firmly within your comfort zone, don't beat yourself up about it. Just get out there tomorrow and make one small improvement. Small improvements will have a huge effect on your quality of life before you even realize it.
I've been there. It's possible. Start now and don't deviate.
http://www.amazon.com/Small-Step-Change-Your-Life/dp/0761129...
Even if you have social anxiety, or are somewhere on the autistic spectrum, you can still improve your social skills. Because they are skills, not traits. You can improve them through practice. It will be difficult, of course, if you have a problem such as social anxiety. But consider seeking help for that, if it is a problem. It can improve your life immensely - and not just professionally.
1. You're forced to interact with at least some set of people regularly. Even if you find it difficult to 'cold call' a person or group of people and socialize at the event, you are guaranteed to have interacted with a minimum number of people.
2. There are set goals to accomplish, and it can be easier to work with people you don't know if you just focus on the work. It basically gives you an excuse to interact with people, because you don't have to worry about awkwardly fumbling around to find some common ground to chat about.
3. If you make yourself extremely useful (always looking to help out, asking what else you can do), people will recognize this.
Maybe things are different in tech, but I don't know anyone who likes attending or speaking at conferences. Don't think of them as trips, think of them as work. Because they are.
When your job keeps you mentally and physically isolated from your coworkers, getting together with like minded people to talk shop is nice. Even more so because for some developers talking shop is one of the few conversation topics they feel comfortable with.
When your job is slugging away at decades old enterprise code, watching a talk about game development, fancy math, or improved development environments can be a breath of fresh air.
When your job has you at the bottom of ten layers of bureaucracy, telling people about something they should do, and having them listen and agree is wonderful.
Tech conferences are a joy.
If you aren't prepared to go to, ad get involved with, conferences, then all of the advice in this article is going to pass you by. Because it's all about establishing credibility and then leveraging it.
http://www.mpowers.com/books/charisma.html
I definitely recommend it.