Emacs is an outstanding, extremely powerful piece of software. It just lacks a decent editor.
I know a lot of people become comfortable with the default editing tools in Emacs, and many of them are good, but on the whole, vanilla Emacs does not ship with a great editor.
The Vim family makes up amazingly well designed editors.
Evil is a Vim implementation in Emacs. It is the best of both worlds, and not just on paper. It actually works.
In what editor can you peak&edit folded text without unfolding it? Answer - only Emacs.
Ask someone who needs to write texts in Arabic or Hebrew - Emacs has far, far better RTL support.
Org-mode is just light-years ahead of anything else, nothing even comes close to it.
So, your stupid joke (if you really believe it) is on you, truly.