> Nov. 4, 1979 Iran took fifty two American's hostage and held them for 444 days.
That was 47 years ago, yet this act still burns in your memory. For Iran, it was 26 years prior that the US & Great Britain replaced their democratically elected primer minister Mossadegh with a tyrannical monarch. Why? Because the US was afraid of Iran 'turning red' and for cheap oil.
When the king of Iran publicly toughened his stance on oil and the Israel lobby (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RH2wXQtFdo), the US in response did nothing to stop Khomeini from taking over.
When Iranian students took the US embassy, embassy staff was actively shredding documents proving US' role in the 1953 coup. The Iranians dropped mountains of shredded docs into elementary schools and asked the kids to 'solve the puzzle,' which they did. The US didn't acknowledge its role in the coup until Obama threw them an olive branch during his second term.
If the embassy takeover was that bad, then maybe you should be upset at Reagan for working out a secret deal with the mullah to NOT release the hostages in order to make President Carter look weak, which cost Carter the election. The hostages were released minutes after Reagan was sworn in. In exchange, Reagan sold weapons to these muslim 'america-haters.' I've never seen Republicans upset at Reagan for selling weapons to Iran, have you?
> call for my and my families deaths and the destruction of my civilization my entire life
Words matter, actions matter more. The US supported the monarchy for years when it was killing and torturing Iranians. The US funded and armed Saddam against to kill Iranians between 1980 and 1988, including with chemical weapons. In 1988, the US shot down an Iranian passenger plane 655. Iranian families have lost many more people to the US than vice versa. That's probably why you've "never seen huge protests in the US calling for Iranian deaths."
You also might not know that post-9/11, Iran's moderate Khatami government and the US worked closely together in special operations in Afghanistan. That's because Iran had nothing to do with 9/11 and were in fact natural enemies of the Sunnis who did 9/11. That is, until George W. Bush was instructed by his team to include Iran in the "axis of evil." In response to Bush, the mullahs ensured that the next president was equally tough (Ahmadinejad). When Obama was elected, the Iran chose the moderate Rouhani to make a deal. I looked, but couldn't find one instance of Iran chanting 'death to america' before Bush's 'axis of evil' comment.
Hopefully you can appreciate why your feelings don't trump the ground truth.