That's understandable. I went through a period of chronic pain and, had it continued, I likely wouldn't be alive today.

The mechanisms protecting us from non-existence by millions of years of evolution can be eroded by pain. It's not something you realize you even have to lose until you've experienced it firsthand. I certainly never expected it, and it's hard for me to imagine what I'd intended while going through it.

I just listened to a fascinating podcast episode of Armchair Expert on pain psychology that went into such topics [0].

May not be some folks’ cup of tea, but I was sucked in and want to study more.

[0] https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/rachel-zoffness