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You said it better than I could! As someone who does software for a living, do I want to come home and maintain a homelab that hosts photos, email, decentralized social, etc? Hell no!

Even if it's fun as a hobby, I don't want to be on call for my own basic online services.

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This is what stops me from doing it. I used to host all my own stuff, with custom setups etc etc. But you end up having no free time, or reduces it at best, and it'll break down at the least convenient time.

The last part about it breaking can of course be true, although knock on wood has not happened to me in quite some time. But I don't find myself spending all that much time on my selfhosting setup day to day. Once a week I do a backup to external storage and upgrade software and that's it most of the time. Once everything's set up it is mostly quite hands off.

That said, I also don't think selfhosting is a realistic solution for most people.

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