Comment by thaumasiotes | Hacker News Reader

Comment by thaumasiotes | Hacker News Reader

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> and then one week my paycheck (which usually was on the second and fourth Wednesday of the month) wasn't in my bank account. I go the CEO of the company and mention this and he said something like "Oh yeah, something got fucked up with payroll man, don't worry we'll give you a double paycheck next time, with interest man".

> I was young enough in my career to just accept that

This reminded me of two much smaller-scale events from my personal life:

1. I engaged a Chinese tutor. After several weeks of lessons, one day I found that I had forgotten to bring my wallet to the lesson and couldn't pay her. I considered this a huge faux pas, but she treated it as a non-event, brushing it off with "no problem, just pay me next time". (Which I did. The inability to pay that week was just an accident on my part.)

2. Living in China, I arranged for someone I knew through a board game club to help me order an air purifier online. She would buy and receive the air purifier and then hand it over to me.

She notified me that she had received the air purifier and I went out to pick it up from her. We had a short conversation and I took it away. As I was riding home, I got a message from her: "It seems we both forgot the money."

So I offered that I could either come back right away to hand over the money, or give it to her the next time I saw her (presumably at a meeting of the club). She wanted me to come back right away.

I did, because obviously I have the obligation to pay for my thing. But in that case I was slightly hurt by the implied lack of trust.

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The incident with the tutor occurred in a context where I had already built up some payment-related trust, so I can understand why things happened that way.

Just happened with my dad, with one of his rental tenants. One of them lost his job (didn't get the job after the probation period), so he had booked a flight back home. Except because of the war in the Middle East, the flights were delayed constantly so he couldn't go back - and given that his flight was on a budget airline, it would take ages until normal operations resume (they still haven't resumed). The guy kept telling my father that he would pay once his ticket was booked, up until the very last minute when he revealed that he was broke and could not pay, burnt bridges and all. He incurred a significant expense after booking a flight with a non-discount carrier airline.

The irony was that had he revealed that he was broke from the start, my father wouldn't have minded as much about the rent (he has forgiven rent in such cases in far too many situations), but would have also helped him get the ticket for cheap.

You're gonna lose that building, daddy's boy lol

Maybe she just needed the money. Paying later always has the risk that it will never going to happen. And she helped you, did she get anything in return?

I baked her a pie about once a week.

Good. I don't doubt your good intensions. Just thinking that even though you would have paid her in the next convenient occasion, she would still have suffered a (semi-) financial loss because of the increased risk she was put under, of not getting her monmey back if you were run over by bus. Cheers :-)

Yeah, an issue with startups, especially extremely small startups, is that you often become very close with everyone. This isn't inherently a bad thing, it's good to like your coworkers, and when the startup does well it's kind of fun to trade "war stories" after the fact.

The problem is that if/when the startup goes bust, it is a double whammy; not only do you lose your job, you feel betrayed by someone who has become a close friend.

I liked this CEO, he was a really nice guy (until he apparently ran away with money), and since he had become (what I thought was) a friend, I felt inclined to believe him when he deflected my questions about the paycheck. Obviously I was wrong to trust him, but I was in my early twenties and hadn't become the cynical old man that I am now (and that I am actively trying to fight against now).

I used to blame myself for being so naive and believing him, but I don't anymore; being trusting and assuming the best of people isn't a disability. The guy lied to me, he's at fault, I'm not at fault for trusting someone that I thought was a friend.

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