As soon as we stop treating these as bummers, there is literally nothing stopping a cycle of destruction. There may not be anyways, I don't know but giving up on empathy entirely seems even more dangerous than being bad at it.
You seem to be suggesting that not feeling sorry for the soldiers who got to evacuate without all their belongings somehow means I'm losing my humanity. That's a dangerous thing - lives of the innocent civilians who didn't chose to be bombed are more important. Aggressors could simply.... Leave and stop being in danger.
Similarly I have little pity for Russian soldiers losing lives in another illegal war of aggression, knowing how many war crimes they committed in their wake.
Better?