The fundamental problem is that we're trying to create a simulation model of real hardware that is (a) realistic enough to tell us something reasonable about how to expect the hardware to behave and (b) computationally efficient enough to tell us about a in a reasonable period of time.
You could, of course, simplify the timing model a lot. In the end you get down to “there is some time passing for the signal to get through this logic, we don’t know how much but we assume it’s less than any clock period”.. in which case we end up with delta cycles.
Real hardware has hold violations. If you get your delta cycles wrong, that's exactly what you get in VHDL...
They're both modeling languages. They can model high-level RTL or gate-level and they can behave very different if you're not careful. "just simulation what the hardware does" is itself an ambiguous statement. Sometimes you want one model, sometimes the other.
I always thought it was confusing to design a circuit mentally (or on paper) out of things like muxes, encoders, flip flops, etc. and not have language-level elements to represent these things (without defining your own components obviously).
I remember looking this up, and I believe it’s because the languages were originally designed for simulation and verification, and there are things you might want to do in a simulation/verification language for testing that are outside of what the hardware can do. Mixing the two is confusing IMO, but clearly demarcating the hardware-realizable subset of the language would be better than the current state.
You generally do not want to simulate or describe raw gate-level netlists. Both languages are capable of that. Old school Verilog (not SystemVerilog) is still the defacto netlist exchange format for many tools.
It's just aggravatingly slow to sim and needlessly verbose. Feeding high-level RTL to Verilator to do basic cycle-accurate sim has exceptionally fast iteration speed these days.
Many new school HDLs are working in this space and they couldn't be farther from the "representative of what digital circuits are constructed from" idea. Often they're high-level programmatic generators, very far from describing things in terms of actual PDK primitives.