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It is absolutely disgusting that even today it is impossible to stop video autoplay on Safari on iOS. I can't image the data wasted.

Settings, Accessibility, Motion, switch off Auto-Play preview videos is supposed to do the trick for System Apps (including messages, safari etc).

Untested since I run my phone via Wireguard to my home network and block everything there.

I’ve always wondered about this, does it stop downloading the video when it stops playing?

My guess is no.

This is incorrect. The setting does not apply to Safari. It's for App Store, for example.

Now tested - you’re right

StopTheMadness will do this pretty well for $15.