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Comment by diogenescynic | Hacker News Reader

Since I've had kids and moved cities, I have basically zero friends. I have a two friends about 40 minutes away but we're all too busy with kids and work to meet up more than really once a year. Having young kids really changes your social life in a way I wasn't entirely prepared for. I have no time left for anything other than family and work.

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You don't need to see them to maintain a friendship, no? One of my friends moved a couple hours away and has two kids under the age of four. We still talk regularly, both text and video calls. He comes back to the city a few times a year for work and we grab beers when he does.

We have a free Slack workspace where a few of us keep in touch and share things. It's pretty active.

We still text frequently, but it really just isn't the same level of connection. It's really hard for me to make time to socialize in person when kids and work are so demanding and all consuming. Hoping once both kids are in elementary school we get some breathing room back.

do you participate in activities with your kids? do your kids have friends? most of my friends now are other dads who i’ve met through school activities etc, and we take our kids to do things together or just hang out at each others houses while the kids play

My kids are 3 and 5 so right now the only activity we do is swimming lessons which are done in a group setting, but aren't really a team sport and the kids/parents in the class change constantly due to scheduling etc. I'm thinking next year once the oldest is 6 we will put her in some team sports.

My oldest has made a few friends in kindergarten, but so far we haven't really hung out with those kids/parents outside of a few birthday parties.

kindergarten/ preschool is the best time to forge these new relationships

lots of parents are in the same boat as you and more willing to get together as they may not have an established group yet , as the kids get older the social groups are already established and harder to break into

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