Comment by calinet6 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by calinet6 | Hacker News Reader

I tend to dislike the idea of labeling introverts and generalizing them.

I used to be solidly in that introvert group, accepting that it was completely fine to want to be alone, that it was who I was and that I should be proud of it.

I went through a huge shift in college (one of the reasons I believe college is a great experience) and now I'm far more extroverted than I used to be, truly a sea change.

I believe that this change has been incredibly positive for me, and I wish I hadn't held myself back so much by being too complacent with my personality.

You are who you are, and you shouldn't hate yourself or do anything harmful to your self confidence, but don't be afraid of change either! And for pete's sake, don't pigeon-hole yourself into a category just because you think you fit it. Over your life, you will change more than you know, and hopefully for the better—there's no reason to limit yourself.

So my recommendation is to collaborate as much as possible, go outside your comfort zone, break the barriers that make you cringe, and learn from it to grow as a person and as a coder.

You may be conflating shyness, social intelligence and introversion. Just for clarity, here are some definitions which I don't assume everyone knows.

Shyness "is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people"[0]

Social Intelligence "describes the exclusively human capacity to effectively navigate and negotiate complex social relationships and environments"[1]

Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life".[2]

When I was younger, I was told that all of these things were the same , and I was very confused. While I felt more connected to my inner world than the outer world, I had no problem dealing with situations (such as parties, events, etc) where I met a large number of people. I wouldn't actively seek these types of encounters out, but would navigate them (often with compliments) when they came up. However, afterwords I would feel physically and mentally exhausted. Only later in life did I learn a more nuanced view about introversion/extroversion that dealt with which situations one finds more or less rewarding.

I personally find small teams, often just me, highly rewarding and engaging. Afterwards I feel mentally recharged, and can continue such encounters for very long amounts of time. Conversely, I find that large groups are very draining, and I have to take more time to recharge.

I would generally rank in the middle-lower levels in shyness. I don't actively seek out encounters with strangers, but I do not feel a high level of apprehension or awkwardness. For social IQ, I'd rate myself as average. I can talk someone's ear off, understand empathy, and social situations do not generally throw me off balance. However, for introversion I'm near the top. Given any particular situation, I would prefer to be alone or in small groups, even to point of possible negative social/group consequences (which I generally understand and accept as the cost of the trade-off).

So while I agree with you that some introverts are pigeon-holing themselves, there are people, like myself, who value their introversion and do not feel that it is a limitation.

[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shyness [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_IQ [2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introversion

Edit: Typos

Yep, I'm fully aware of and completely understand the psychological definitions of the terms, and studied them a great deal. I still identify as on the introverted side of the scale. And I hope my post did not appear to be attacking introversion or introverted people, because it's not. I just want people to understand the labels and make sure they're not limiting themselves by self-reinforcing or groupthink.

Thanks for all the links, great definitions and resources there for people who may not understand the differences.

Thanks for these definitions. In a post on Hackalone, I had incorrectly lumped together "antisocial" and "introverted" as synonyms. Your definitions (and a comment from a reader) clearly highlighted my error.

Irony: I'd classify myself as introverted and antisocial. But not anymore. Now I'm just introverted ;)

Unless you have a tendency to commit criminal acts or something against society, which is the definition of antisocial, the appropiate word you are looking for is asocial.

@victorhn is right, the two words are often confused.

People don't address and recognize sensory issues sufficiently. In my case, I enjoy interacting with others. However, I simply cannot tune out their presence in my immediate environment.

I'm happy to collaborate with others, meeting and then going off to my own (quiet) space to think further and to implement.

Electronic communication also helps me, as I can control the level and times of sensory input / stimulation it provides. And even while interacting, I'm less overwhelmed by the immediate physical presence of another person or people.

If you are like me, I recommend not straining overly in an attempt to force yourself to "adapt" to today's typical, noisy and distracting physical "collaboration" environment. I've been at it for several decades, and it just doesn't work.

People simply love the work I do, when I'm given the resource and left in peace to do it. (I do engage with others, freely; however, this is not -- incessantly and counter-productively and irrelevantly -- forced upon me.

Please save yourself the aggravation I've gone through. Leave bad environments, until you find one that accepts how you function and fosters your excellence within that context. Do work to grow and expand your abilities; however, beware of demands that are instead excessively stressing you, diminishing your productivity, and wearing you down. That is a long-term course to failure.

P.S. I'll add that I tend to be very good at teaching and training, because I really pay attention to the other person or people and work from where I find them to be at, in knowledge and conception. I've often received thanks and comments from people who've told me that it's the first time they've really gotten the topic at hand.

If there are lingering doubts about my ability to collaborate and work with others, I'd cite this as a prime counter-argument.

I see your point, so I'm here to clarify: I'm praising being an introvert here, not condemning it. This was site was made specifically to help those of us who have trouble fitting in with large teams still engage in the social coding movement!

You should read my post more carefully. It wasn't aimed at condemning introversion, but instead, mildly condemning your praise of it. But after thinking about it more, I still think it's a good thing you're doing—but you should (in my opinion) provide pathways to growth and working together as well. You can provide a fear-free comfortable environment for introverts without locking them out of social interaction. :)

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