Google is Not to be Trusted

I've had at least two Gmail accounts since 2008 or so. Due to a spate of identity theft a few years ago, I deleted the primary account and created a new one. That worked great until today. Today, though, I went to sign-in to my that email address from a different computer and they decided I'm not old enough to have an account.

This is hilarious, but what makes it worse is they're bombarding my inbox for that same account with fraud warnings. If they can't do a simple validation correctly, why bother?

Oh... One more thing... The captchas they present are all blurry and I have 20-20 vision. Hilarious? Yes but I'm no longer sure I can trust them or their toolset.

Alternatives?